Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

First Day of School 2011

2011-11-09T10:12:00.001-08:00

I know it's 2 monts late, but I just have to post the first day of school pics of my boys.

This guy was so excited to finally start kindergarten. He's been doing great in his class and I think it helps him so much to get out of the house every day and expend some of his energy!

A lot of kids were crying and scared because it was the first day of kindergarten, but not Tanner, he wanted to know why I was still there in his classroom...go home already mom!

My big boy is in 3rd grade and still doing great in school! This year has been a little bit of a struggle for him behaviorally, but we've had lots of talks and he seems to be doing better.

Provo Halloween Half Marathon

2011-11-09T10:06:00.001-08:00

We recently ran the Provo Halloween Half Marathon. It was so much fun! Everyone was dressed up in costume and some people were running in wild outfits!

I ran this race harder than any I'd ever ran and got an awesome new PR 1:56:15! I never thought I'd break the 2 hr mark so excuse the absolute cheese in all my post-race pics, I was uber-excited!

I started running with someone new over the summer and we've since became great friends. It was her first half marathon and she did such a great job! It's been so much fun to train with her and I hope we get to do lots more races together! Love her!

Taekwondo Tournament

2011-11-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

Caeden has been involved with Taekwondo for over a year now and he's doing great! He recently had a tournament where he competed in Patters, Sparing, and Blocking. He did a fantastic job and I'm really proud of him for sticking with it for so long!

He got 1st place in Patters, 2nd place in Sparring, and a 2nd place in Blocking. He was so happy with his medals he was grinning from ear to ear all day!

After he got his last medal in Blocking I saw him over talking to the boy who won 3rd place and he was handing him his medal. I went to check out what was going on and it turns out Caeden offered to trade him his 2nd place silver medal for the 3rd place bronze medal so he'd have "one of each"....what a funny kid!

Caeden and one of his best friends....they both did an incredible job!

Halloween 2011

2011-11-09T09:43:00.000-08:00

I think Halloween has gotten to be a busier holiday for us than Christmas! We have so much fun, but all the festivities sure keep us busy!

He refused to smile for this picture because he said Darth Maul doesn't smile....duh mom.

Sisters Trip 2011!

2011-11-09T09:36:00.001-08:00

For our Sisters Trip this year Cher and I decided to take a day and cross something off our bucket list. We grew up in the shadow of Ben Lomond Peak and we've always wanted to hike it. It's a tough 16 mile trek so we needed a whole day to conquer it! The leaves were changing and the weather was perfect! It was an amazing, beautiful, hard hike and we had a wonderful day!

At the top (finally!). The view was breathtaking and after signing in the log book we feasted on egg salad sandwiches, pears, and gourmet cheeses. We also picked up a beautiful sparkly green rock to put on Wayne's grave.

I love this girl SO much! I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't such a big part of my life. She's my best friend, my confident, one of those rare people who knows all my worst faults and loves me anyway. I love being able to spend these times with her!

It was one of the best hikes I've ever been on and I'll be doing it again someday!

Caeden's 9th Birthday

2011-11-09T09:26:00.001-08:00

I can't believe my oldest is 9! It doesn't seem like it was 9 years ago that I first became a mother. He's growing up so fast!

His all-time favorite food is hamburgers. We've gone on vacations where we eat out for most meals and he'll order hamburger after hamburger. So I thought this cake was a perfect choice for him. He loved it! :)

Right now Caeden is taking Taekwon do classes, attending scouts, collecting Pokemon cards, and starting to read grown-up books (I love being able to share reading material with him!). He loves to play with his friends and visit his Papa. He's a big help with his younger brothers....and an even bigger tease. He loves playing video games and watching TV. He doesn't like homework, tomatoes, pickles or chores. He's growing up so fast and I'm so proud of the wonderful kid he's become! Love him!

Blog Update.....

2011-11-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

There's a reason I haven't blogged in 6 months....it coincides with a church calling that was extended at about the same time. I left the bishops office in tears. I was overwhelmed, scared, and feeling horribly inadequate. I was called to be our ward's Young Women's President.

It's a good thing the Lord knows me better than I know myself. It's still a hard calling and it takes up oodles of my time, but I LOVE what I'm doing. This position has caused me countless nights of lost sleep and heartache for hurts I can't fix, but it's also caused me to stretch out of my comfort zone, grow spiritually, and I can now see it for the amazing blessing it is. I make a lot of mistake and I don't always know the right thing to say or do, but these girls are so wonderful and have managed to find a very special place in my heart! My life is so much more blessed because they are a part of it.

On a personl level I also feel like I've grown over the past 6 months. My prayers are longer and more heartfelt, my scripture study is more consistant and meaningful, I attend the temple more. Being able to watch these girls testimonies evolve has helped my own faith to grow.

I wish I could remember the exact quote, but I heard something once that was along the lines of "the Lord doesn't make calling to fit us, instead he helps us grow to fit our callings". I'm so grateful that the I've been trusted with this stewardship and I hope and pray I can be what the Lord wants me to be.

Now I need to catch up on some blogging!

High Springs, FL

2011-04-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

After our race weekend Mike and I picked up a rental car and headed out to a B&B in High Springs. This little place was right up our alley. Lots of outdoors activities to do, no crowds, and plenty of ways to be active. It was a lot of fun!

The swinging bridge in Olena State Park....

We spent the afternoon hiking around the trails in the park.....

We kept seeing these strange formations everywhere. I was told they were Cyrpress Knobs and they're the roots of the trees. The area is so swampy they form above ground so they can get oxygen.

Our ugly blue rental car.....

The Rustic Inn Bed & Breakfast.....

The next day we rented a canoe and headed down The Santa Fe River....
.

We saw hundreds of these cute little turtles sunning themselves on logs.....

We even saw a few of these guys......

At first we thought that alligators were just smaller than we realized.....but then we turned a corner and a full-grown adult alligator dove off the shore into the river just beneath our boat. Scared the daylights out of me!!! We realized then that the alligators we'd been seeing weren't full grown. Unfortunately we didn't get a picture of the "big un", but in my ever-so-vivid imagination it looked something like this.....

I admit it. I panicked. I yelled (repeatedly) at Mike to hurry up and paddle. He just laughed at me. Insensitive! It would have served him right if Mr. Alligator had bit a chunk out of our boat (what can I say? I grew up watching Crocodile Dundee....gators/crocs....they're all the same bloodthirsty buggers).

We pulled into a little inlet to see Lily Springs and got to meet her caretaker Naked Ed. Now the travel brochures we'd picked up warned us about the eccentric caretaker, Naked Ed, and how he lived there year-round and would greet visitors in his loin cloth.......well....he didn't wear a loin cloth. Yep, that was a little uncomfortable for this innocent girl, but luckily he mostly stayed behind his little podium and we had a great conversation.

This is his little wall of life sayings. Most of them were very positive like "Love is a four letter word we don't use often enough" and "Thank you Lord for all the things I have and may I only ask Thee for the things I need", but some relfected his quirky sense of humour: "Ladies who choose to skinny dip will receive a free signed coaster. Men who choose to skinny dip will be shot". He also had his little box of "trophies"....the local brewery had named a drink after him and you could buy a case of Naked Ed's Pale Ale while in town.

Eccentric? Yes. But also very nice. He was quite interesting to talk to actually. He's lived there almost 30 years now...even through freezing temps and hurricanes. He says one day he decided he'd never be able to tour the world because he suffers from Brittle Bone disease....so rather than let that get him down, he decided insead to set up residence at Lily Springs and let the world come see him.

Mike braving a dip in the springs....

WARNING!!! Horrific swimsuit shot!

That's as far in as I got...too cold!!!

One last dip in Blue Springs and it was time to go....we had been on the river 7 hours, but there was still so much we didn't get to see! Maybe someday we'll make it back.

This was the first long vacation that Mike and I had taken together since our honeymoon 11 years ago. It was so much fun to be together and reconnect. We were gone a total of 6 days and we filled them with laughter, romance, fun, and adventure. It's a trip I'll never forget and I'm so glad I got to experience it with him!

Florida Part I - Gate River Run

2011-03-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

Florida time again! This year Mike went with me and we ran The Gate River 15K together....well not together exactly because there's no way I could keep up with Mr. Speedy-pants. It was an awesome race. It's the biggest 15K in the country....18,000 runners. Being part of a race that big was very cool!

I love these girls and I was so glad to finally be able to introduce Mike to the friends I talk about so much! A couple of other husbands were supposed to come, but had to back out last minute because of work-issues so Mike got to just be "one of the girls"......he was thrilled. Mike finished in an amazing 1:08 and I had a respectable finish of 1:24....my fastest race yet! This bridge was right before the finish line, it was a mile long and it was a killerPost-race celebrating!!!
(How can you tell someoen is a REALLY bad photographer? Their fingers end up in half the pictures!)

St. Augustine.....

St. Augusting light house.....

With our race-weary legs we still managed to climb the 200+ steps to the top of the light house. The view was worth it!

These are our wonderful hosts for the trip. They graciously opened their home to all of us (two years in a row now!), fed us and drove us around everywhere. They're both absolutely fantastic people!

Cool Farmer's Market......it was huge, about the size of a warehouse store and there were varities of fruits/vegetables that I'd never even seen before!

The next morning we went canoeing on the St. Johns River. Beautiful!

Mike touching the Atlantic Ocean for the first time....Florida was beautiful in the Spring......

I want to take this kitty home!!!!

Irish Dance - Caeden's Recital

2011-03-31T08:14:00.000-07:00

Caeden got to learn Irish Dance for his school recital. He did a great job and he looked so handsome up there on stage!

Mike & the Boys Sledding!

2011-03-31T08:08:00.001-07:00

Manicures!

2011-03-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'm no longer an Activity Days leader, but this was one of our best activities. Valentine's Day Manicures. I love these girls so much and I'm going to miss them!!!!

Rainy Days and Mondays.......

2011-02-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

I love Karen Carpenter. When I was growing up and the rest of my friends were idolizing Paula Abduhl and Debbie Gibson I was usually playing my mom's old Carpenters records. I've had Rainy Days and Mondays going through my head all day today which is oddly appropriate for how I've been feeling lately.

Sometimes I'd like to quit,

Nothing ever seems to fit...

What I've got they used to call the blues,

Nothing is really wrong,

Just feeling like I don't belong...

Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

It's not rainy outside. It's a beautiful day. A beautiful week actually.

And it's not Monday either.

But something has got me down.

I don't know why.

I've just been in a funk.

Discontented.

When things are stressful this kind of thing makes sense to me. I'm a worryier and it's easy for me to get overwhelmed by stress.

But things are actually really good right now.

Which makes it all the more confusing to me.

When I get like this everything suffers. I'm impatient with my kids. My house is a mess. It seems like too much work to bother with hair and make-up. I eat more sugar. Which makes me feel even WORSE about myself and I get a little vicious cycle going.

Is it just this time of the year? That blah time between Christmas and Spring.

I'm pretty lonely these days... is it because I'm so disconnected....too much time with myself and my thoughts?

Is it the endless rotating cycle of house, kids, errands....with no break in sight?

Depression runs in my family, I have problems with it here and there, but I manage to get through it without medication. I've been trying to do what usually helps.

I've been exercising almost every day.

I cleaned the temple last week to try and get out of myself through service.

I attended the temple with Mike.

Those things help, but it's not quite enough......

What helps you move the storm clouds out of your life?

Christmas Morning

2011-01-31T19:59:00.001-08:00

Huh. For some reason this post never got published. Christmas in April :)

Caeden has been asking for a Wii for two years now and Santa finally brought one....think he's excited?

Christmas Party and Gingerbread houses!

2011-01-31T19:44:00.001-08:00

This years Mike's family Christmas party was a lot of fun. We had a great time, relaxing, eating, exchanging gifts and even making gingerbread houses.......

The Mama.....

Of course, to an almost two year old, the packaging is always better than the actual gift.....

Each family got a house to work on together. The boys had fun decorating our gingerbread cottage, but I think they enjoyed eating the rock-hard cookies, glue-like frosting, and stale granite candy even better. To each his own I guess......

Proudly showing off the finished product.....

We DO Feed Him.....

2011-01-31T19:35:00.001-08:00

We found Tanner's latest stash......

It was under the downstairs couch this time. We found the previous hidey hole behind the curtain, in back of his bed, underneath OUR bed (sneaky! we never thought to look on our own territory), stuffed down in the pot of the silk plant......hey, we can't fault him for creativity.

This kid constantly steals food. He can sniff out sugar from anywhere in the house and no matter where we've hidden the treats we're no match for Tanner.....he can fine them here, he can find them there, he can find them ANYWHERE. We usually don't even notice anything is missing until we do some deep cleaning and come across yet another pile of wrappers, stale cookies, old fruit....even a half eaten sandwich in this picture......knowing Tanner I would guess that particular bit of food made it into the stash because it was something he had to finish eating before he got dessert.....why eat it when you can hide it?

Mike showed him this picture after we took it and now his location has changed. The hunt is on.

A Face Only A Mother Could Love.......

2011-01-31T19:33:00.001-08:00

Hogle Zoo Christmas Light and Santa

2011-01-24T14:52:00.000-08:00

This was a fun activity we did with my sister and her kids before Christmas......

I just had to post this picture of my niece, it's so funny. She was showing us how excited she was to go see Santa. I love her so much, she's so stinkin' cute!

Caeden's Baptism

2011-01-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

December 4th was a special day around here. Not only were Mike and I celebrating 11 years of marriage, it was also the day our oldest kiddo decided to get baptized. He was so excited! His Papa and Grandma Jarvis both gave talks, his Grandma Bond and Aunt Cheralyn said prayers and his Perkins cousins all sang a song.

This has been such a fun age. Last year I remember that I kept thinking "there's no way he can get baptized in a year... he won't be ready... he doesn't understand... he doesn't have enough of a testimony..." but the Lord knows what he's doing. It's been amazing to watch how much his understanding and faith blossom this last year. He's grown leaps and bounds in a suprisingly short amount of time. He's matured do much and I can already see him making the transition from little kid to young man and it's wonderful to be able to be a part of that with him.

His Daddy performed the baptism and his Uncles Jake and David were witnesses. It was a doubly special occasion for Mike because not only was he baptizing his oldest son, but it was his first baptism ever....he never got the opportunity to perform one on his mission.

Kind of a funny story...someone had forgotten to fill the font that morning and so we got started quite a bit later than planned. They finally decided to go ahead with the baptism, but since the font was only half full Mike had to dip him all the way down to the floor...almost vertical.... in order to get him completely submerged.

I didn't realize we had a black, white and red theme going on until we all stood together.....except for poor Tanner in blue, oops.

I am so incredibly proud of him. He made a wonderful choice to be baptized and I hope he continues to follow the right paths in life. It's brought me new understanding of the concept of having the faith of a child. He's so absolutely trusting and sure of his Savior and Heavenly Father. He accepts Their teachings with humility and he genuinly tries to do what is right. He's compassionate of others around him and he is doing a fantastic job of teaching his younger brothers by his great example.

I love you Caeden-bug!

Wayne's Birthday Party

2010-12-01T14:26:00.000-08:00

This last week was a hard one for me and my family. It was my brother, Wayne's, birthday on Nov. 22nd, he would have been 33. This was the first year in my entire life that I didn't talk to him or see him on his birthday. We also happend to recieve word from the mortuarty that his headstone was finally in place. In honor of Wayne we gathered a group of family and friends at the cemetary to celebrate.

We sure picked a cold and windy day! We did it on Sat. Nov 20th and my dad found out that by sheer coincidence that day is the National Suicide Survivors Day, for those who don't know the lingo, a Suicide Survivor doesn't refer to someone who attempted and failed to committ suicide, it refers to the surviving loved ones left behind when someone succeeds with suicide......how appropriate.

We bought 33 balloons and each took a turn writing a personal birthday message to Wayne on our balloon with marker.

Our plan backfired when the balloons were so tangled (from the wind) that we couldn't get them seperated so we decided to let my two brothers release them as a bunch......and they promptly got blown into a tree. We just laughed it off and said that Wayne probably had a hand in that one....he loved to tease!

Afterwards we all had hoagie sandwiches and pumpkin pie, we always had pumpkin pie on Wayne's birthday.

Seeing this was tough.......

Even though it's been 7 months it still doesn't seem real at times. His name just does NOT belong on a headstone. I love him and miss him more than I can say. I think of him every single day. Happy Birthday Big Brother!

Memorial Day Breakfast & Aunt Margie

2010-11-29T10:18:00.000-08:00

One of the (many) times that I got behind on my blog I skipped posting about a Memorial Day- Family Reunion- Breakfast that we had with my moms family. I got some great pics of her with her only surviving siblings. My Uncle Steve and Aunt Margie. I think I've mentioned before that I don't have very close relationships with most of my extended family. My mom is quite a bit younger than the rest of her family and they only seem to have get togethers about once every ten years. I know that my Aunt Margie's health has been failing so I thought I'd take some opportunities to get some pictures.

My Uncle Steve and Aunt Ann.....

My mom with her brother and sister......

Honestly, I almost didn't go. I woke up that morning and just wanted to stay home, I was feeling tired and since I don't know a lot of my moms family I feel uncomfortable and shy at their gatherings. I knew my Aunt Margie would be there though and I wanted to see her again so I went. I'm so so so glad I did because little did I know, this was the last time I would have a conversation with this beatiful lady.....

My Aunt Margie passed away on Nov. 9, 2010. I have gotten to know this wonderful lady quite well in the last few years and I grew to love her very much. I love my mom and nobody could ever replace her, but she and I are like night/day. We are so different. We don't understand each other at all. A little part of me always wondered why I didn't take after her more. That part stopped wondering when I got to know my Aunt Margie. We were so much alike! After we developed a relationship she really went above and beyond to keep it flourishing. She would call me all the time when I was pregnant or just had a new baby just to check up on me. She always made it a point to attend any showers/blessings/special occasions my family had. We would always hoard any apricots that came our way every fall so we could make/swap her famous Apricot-Pinapple-Orange jam. We loved to talk cooking and recipes. I'm glad she's out of pain and won't suffer anymore, but I will miss her so much!

I went out the night before she died, she was pretty heavily sedated, and I don't know how aware she was, but I got the chance to tell her goodbye and let her know how much she meant to me and how much I loved her. Her daugher came up to me in the hall and told me that a couple of days before she started going downhill my Aunt Margie had been talking about me and my boys and wondering how we were all doing. She said she wanted to see us. I wish I would have known. Never take those you love for granted. Make sure they always know how much you love, cherish, and appreciate them. You never know when a conversation will be your last.

I've had to deal with a lot of death this last year. It's been tough. I'm learning that I don't take it well. I have to fight to keep from sinking into a depression. It feels like the forces of grief are almost overwhelming. I'm so grateful to have the Gospel in my life. As heartwrenching as it is to lose somebody you love at least I know that this is not the end and I will see them again. I can't imagne the hopelessness death must bring if you don't have those convictions. I know I'll be with Aunt Margie again. In the meantime, I keep picturing her loving and maternal personality just enveloping Wayne and taking care of him for us. That thought brings me peace for both of them. I will always love her!

Margorie Jones Turner 1937-2010

Margorie Jones Turner, beloved wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, sister, aunt and friend passed away peacefully November 9, 2010 at her home in Magna Utah. Born January 5, 1937 to Charles Elvin and Helen Clawson Jones in Salt Lake City UT and attended Granite High School in Murray, UT. Margie married her high school sweetheart and lifelong partner Norman Edward Turner on February 11, 1955 at a ceremony at the "Jensen Home" in Salt Lake City. Margie and Norm lived in Jacksonville, FL, Bremerton, WA and San Juan Puerto Rico during Norms tour of duty on board the aircraft carrier the USS Franklin Roosevelt, then finally settling in Lompoc, CA, where they lived for 31 years. Margorie had a gentle heart and loved her family. An avid reader, she also enjoyed camping, crotcheting, tending to her rosebushes, and was always adding to her collection of rosebud figurines. Movie musicals were one of her favorite forms of entertainment and a passion she shared with her children and their children. A wonderful cook, special occasions always found her preparing one of her signature baked Banana Cream Pie, Pineapple Cheesecake, or Chocolate Cake with homemade frosting. A member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Marjorie taught primary school, and her loving nature led her to a calling as the Compassionate Serving Leader in the church Relief Society. Margorie is survived by her husband of 56 years, Norman; their three children, Raymond (Karen) Turner of Springbranch, TX; Ronals (Monica) Turner of Nixa, MO; and Trudy (Bradley) Ellis of UT; brother, Steve Jones, and sister, Patricia Bond. She will be missed greatly by her seven grandchildren; Emily and Audrey Turner of San Antonio, TX; Jennifer Hurlich and Nick Turner of Springfield, MO; and Trudi Anne, Amanda, and Orion Ellis of UT; as well as her five great-grandchildren, Jordan Turner, Jacob and Mckenzie Hurlich, Tyler and Adien Turner. She was preceeded in death by her parents; her son Stephen Lynn; brother Robert Jones; and sisters Geraldine Bons and Cherylyn Jones. Funeral Services will be held on November 15, 2010 at the Magna Stake Center. Interment: Utah Veterans Memorial Park.

It's great to be 8!!!

2010-11-29T10:01:00.001-08:00

On Nov, 8th this big guy turned 8 years old. I can't believe I have a son old enough to be baptized....it seems like just yesterday I was holding and rocking my first-born baby. Caeden is such a great kid. He keeps his room clean, helps his brothers, and tries his best to follow the rules. I love this kiddo so much!

Likes:

1. Pokemon, Pokemon, and more Pokemon....he'll spend hours pouring over his card collection!

2. America's Funniest Home Videos

3. sledding

4. riding his bike

5. his Papa (his favorite person in the whole world!)

6. reading books

7. hamburgers

8. bubble gum

9. camping

10. fishing

11. jumping on the trampoline

12. playing with his friends (he's very social).

13. video games

14. TaeKwonDo (he started lessons in Oct)

15. Saturday or any No School days

16. cooking (he makes his own special "recipes" like turkey sandwiches with ketchup...ewww)

17. going to the library

18. swimming

Dislikes:

1. tomatoes

2. homework

3. baths (where did that come from? he's never hated them before!)

4. Princesses (or anything pink and girlie)

5. his brothers getting into his things

6. tying his shoes

7. pickles

8. wearing his bike helmet

Changing Seasons

2010-11-29T09:50:00.000-08:00

I'm glad Mike went out, raked the leaves, and got these pics of the boys.......

Because the next morning we woke up to this........

and it hasn't stopped snowing since!

Fast-Free-Fun Christmas project!

2010-11-29T09:40:00.000-08:00

I found this cute Christmas Carol Subway Art here. Twenty minutes, some cardstock and a little ribbon I had lying around and this is what I had......
Yeah! I love decorating my home for the holidays. Now I need to go get the tree out of the garage......

Family Pictures 2010

2010-11-27T06:26:00.000-08:00

One of my seriously talented friends started up her own photography business, Allyson Bos Photography, and she took our family pictures out at Wheeler Farm. I love them! Love-love-love them! I catch my breath looking at these, she did such a fantastic job capturing the boys..... I can't post all 60-something pictures she gave us, but trying to pick my favorites is really tough, they're all so good!

More pics of the boys.......

Me.....

Mike.....
Even though we have had the kids pictures taken now and then (not near often enough!), Mike and I haven't had OUR pictures taken for years. It's nice to have a couple pictures of just the two of us......

Halloween (very Belated!)

2010-11-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

Am I the only person who shuts down when something overwhelms me? It's one of my biggest faults. You could walk through my house and spot out the areas that overwhelm me because I never do anything about them. Well, the blog is at that point right now. I keep getting behind and then I look at all the pics/stories I need to post and I don't know where to start.

Anyway, point of that tangent is I'm going to try and catch up (again) and that's why I'm posting about Halloween when it's getting into the Christmas season. Better late than never, right?

We had a great year, but we always do. I love Halloween. It's one of my favorite holidays......maybe even my favorite.

Me, the boys, and their Papa & Nana went to do the Witches Scavenger Hunt at Gardner Village. I had never done it before and we loved it! I'm pretty sure it's going to be an annual thing now.....

The annual Jarvis Halloween Party.....

I guess always being a princess gets boring and she had to kick it up a notch.....

No, the big ol' wrap on my finger isn't part of my costume. I decided to cut a big chunk off while preparing dinner and the only way we could get it to stop bleeding was duct tape.....that stuff really is good for everything.....

How cute is grandma?

Weston putting on his cousins thigh-high boots and trying to walk......

I thought this year would be a ruined mess because we got the mother-of-all-rainstorms early in the evening. There wasn't a trick-or-treater to be seen! The boys were done even though they'd only been out for 20 min. They were soaked and wanting to just go get dry. Thankfully the storm eventually cleared out and the kids and their parents came out in force!

We've started a new tradition of setting up a Haunted House in our garage every year. We had such a great turn-out for it this year......I think the word is getting out (yeah!!). Our two teenage nieces, Morgan and Tia, came and helped out this year. They did fantastic and I think they had a great time. It is just too much fun! I was coming down with the stomach flu that night so I didn't even think to get pics, but next year.....

I was a spider web and Weston was my spider.....

The cutest Indian/Harry Potter/ Mountain Man I ever saw......

Activity Days Girls

2010-11-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

Right now, for my church calling, I'm an Activity Days leader. I had no idea what Activity Days even was before I got this calling! It's been a lot of fun though and we have the sweetest group of girls. For this activity we did a service project and cleaned all the toys in the nursery at the church building. The girls had so much fun! Who would have known that cleaning was such a riot? I love this picture that was taken after..... They really are a great group of girls and I'm so blessed to get to work with them.

Lagoon

2010-11-03T07:30:00.000-07:00

This year we celebrated Caeden's 8th birthday early and we went to Lagoon (thank you KSL Classifieds for the uber-cheap tickets!). He's wanted to go for about the last three years and we finally decided that this was a good time to take him. He and Tanner were in heaven all day! (Weston was at the babysitters).

Mike riding one of the kiddie rides.......

What a dork....

Tanner and I just got drenched under the waterfall of Rattlesnake Rapids......

Caeden's favorite ride was the log ride.........

The boys must have rode the Dragon Rollercoaster at least 10 times. It gave Mike and I a chance to sit for a little while and let our stomachs settle.....we're getting old!

Yeah....we can't take much of this anymore, but the boys had NO problems.....

Tanner was so funny. Since we went in October Lagoon was doing Frightmares and they had different Haunted Houses set up throughout the park. He would beg and beg and beg to go through one, hate every minute while we were walking through, leave the building crying (literally) and then start begging to go to another one as soon as he calmed down. We would try to talk him out of it, but he would insist that the Haunted Houses were his favorite part of Lagoon. So funny!

Fun at the Park!

2010-10-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

We spent a Family Home Evening at the park trying to catch one of the last warm days of the summer.......

Weston LOVED the slide. Mike must have stood there and caught him going down at least 20 minutes!

Utah State Fair

2010-09-30T15:27:00.000-07:00

Yep. I'm a dork. But I LOVE the fair! This year I had my nieces staying with me during fair week. Yikes! Do I dare take 5 kids (4 of them were under the age of 5!)? Grandma came to help out and we had a great (but exhausting) time.

Riding their farm tractors.......

Take a look at her face.....I'd stay out of the way if I were you!

Planting "seeds". They had the cutest Little Hands on the Farm exhibit.......

Picking apples from the orchard.....

Taking corn to feed the cows....

The farm animals are always fun. They got to pet a calf....

Sweet little Lexie-girlfriend was so in love with this poor goat. Everytime he stuck his head out of the bars she immediately put him in a very smothering lovey headlock and the goat couldn't pull free. She was giggling and loving every animal she could touch. Sooooo cute!

Caeden loved petting the goats, until it got ahold of his jacket and tried to eat it.....

Grandma treated all the kids to sticky yummy chocolate covered marshmallows. She and I both got Caramel-Chocolate-Toffee Covered Apples ..........oh my! Gooey sweet chocolatey heaven!

Happy Retirement Daddy!

2010-09-26T16:18:00.001-07:00

I think my dad has been talking about his retirement for the last 10 years. All that waiting and planning has finally paid off because this July he got to retire! We wanted to do a special friend and family party for him, but trying to pin him down long enough to put something together was a challenge! I don't think he's going to be using much of his new found freedom to stay at home and relax! It was a suprise and we had a great turnout of friends and family.

I wish I would have had the time to take more pictures, but I didn't. We had a Safari theme and I had hung large green paper leaves and animal print balloons all over the house. We also had signs with sayings like "300 Miles to Zumbawi", "Do Not Feed The Monkeys", "Warning: Elephant Crossing". The house looked pretty cute!

The kids favorite part was the cake (I know, big suprise).....

You can't tell, but Mike and I are in Safari getup........

Cherie and her beautiful girls.......

Jeff, my brother, and Nicole......

My great Aunt Linda & Uncle Ross......

My great Aunt Sharon & Quinn.....

The guest of honor and his lovely wife.....

I know this is something he's looked forward to for a long time and I'm so happy for him!

Everyone made a guess as to what he would do with all his free time during retirement. Some of the suggestions were:

Get a tattoo and wear a muscle shirt - Mike

Start a daycare for delinquent children - Tanner's idea....with some help from mom

Spend more time with your Aunt Linda -Linda

Spend lots of time with your grandkids - Ross

Travel the world, discover a new bird and name it after yourself: The red-tailed, blue featheres, dumb-dumb bird - Shauna

Take bongo drum lessons -Jeff

Sleep over at my house. Watch Pokemon with me. Play Pokemon cards with me - Caeden

Spend as much time with kids and grandkids as possible. Aside from that, skydiving, bunge-jump, and paintballing. And maybe some much needed rest and time with your beautiful wife. -Kimber

Do a triatholon. Take some cookies classes and then invite us over for dinner. Try belly dancing. Your Favorite Daughter - Cherie

Do nothing - ?

See the world - ?

Bear Lake

2010-09-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

I love love love Bear Lake, but we haven't been up for a couple of years. We finally squeezed a trip in this Sept. I was worried about it being too cold, but it was perfect weather! It was also nice, because the beach wasn't full of the summer crowds.

Weston kept chasing after seagulls....

Love this pic with sand on him bum, such a cute stink!

Caeden and Tanner adore swimming.....

Look at that background view! No wonder they call Bear Lake the "Caribbean of the Rockies"!Mike building a sand castle with the boys.......

Weston had so much fun there! The novelty of water and sand could have kept him entertained for days.

We forgot our camera, but Mike and I got the opportunity (thanks to some wonderful granparents) to do the 50 mile bike ride around Bear Lake. It was so nice. We spent the whole 4 1/2 hours talking and enjoying each others company. The ride was beautiful. The leaves were changing colors, we kept seeing lots of wildlife: deer, rabbits, an owl, fish, ducks, and even some mountain goats. I felt great for most of the ride, but the last 10 miles were tough. I've done that ride once before, but we got rained on and the temps dropped so it made for a pretty miserable time. This ride couldn't have been more perfect! The weather was perfect, the scenery was perfect and the company was perfect! Afterwards the pancake breakfast, shower, nap, famous Bear Lake shakes, playing on the beach, and then eating Papas campfire apple pies made for a perfect day!

Out Of The Darkness Walk 2010

2010-09-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

Our family got the opportunity to walk for the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention fundraiser today. The theme was Out of the Darkness and we put together Team Wayne in my brothers honor. We did some fundraising and through the generosity of family and friends Team Wayne raised over $600 dollars. It was a great experience and we all felt that it's been very healing to support a cause like this and to hopefully help other families and vicitms from having to experience the grief that suicide causes.

When we were trying to decide what color T-shirt to wear and my sister-in-law, Roni, hit on the idea to wear camoflauge. Wayne loved hunting and we all felt like that was a perfect way to represent him. They had necklaces for the walkers to wear that represented who they had lost; white if you'd lost a child, gold if you'd lost a parent, orange if you'd lost a sibling, purple if you's lost a friend or a relative, and green if you were a suicide survivor yourself. I loved being able to look around at all the other orange necklaces and feeling such a kinship with people who were otherwise complete strangers.

The family: Jeff, Don, Cherie, Me, and my Mom

Team Wayne:

We had a fantastic group of people (including quite a few latecomers who didn't make the picture) who came out to walk with us.

I feel very blessed by the amount of generosity and support, both of time and money, that we've experienced this week. We are truly surrounded by an amazing group of people!

Moonlight Half Marathon

2010-09-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

Mike and I got to train for, and run, another race together. It was tons of fun! It was a little different than most races because the object was NOT to cross the finish line first, but to cross the finish line as close to midnight as you possibly could. So they didn't have any official timing devices, just a clock at the start and a clock at the end and you weren't allowed to bring personal timing devices. They bused us up to the start line and then you just left whenever you wanted to....no starting gun, no crowd to elbow through.....it was a nice change! The course was tougher than what I expected, there were a lot of hills, the first two miles up straight up the canyon....brutal! We had some cloud cover and light rain for most of the run so the weather was perfect, but there wasn't any moonlight to light up the canyon road at all and it was

DARK

I was actually pretty nervous about tripping over something or twisting my foot in a pot hole, I swear I couldn't see anything. It was pretty cool to see everyone lit up in their glow sticks and lights though, but I don't think it makes for a very good picture.

This is me crossing the finish line...... I finished in 2:14 and Mike finished in 1:58.....so no picture of the exact moment of his victory, I was still running. We stuck around for a little while after. They had food and we were starving! Here's our finishing medal.......

We were happy, but tired. I think we're getting too old to stay up that late. By the time we got home and got to bed it was past 2:00am.

Tanner's 1st Day of Preschool 2010!

2010-09-01T08:01:00.000-07:00

Tanner turned 5 the start of August so we could have sent him to Kindergarten this year, but after talking to several people we've decided to continue with preschool and send him to K when he's 6. It was a hard decision to make. He does so much better when he gets out of the house and Preschool is only twice a week, he's also very anxious to go to school with Caeden. After lots of praying though we decided that this was what was best for him. I really don't think he's quite ready for school 5 days a week.
We found a new Preschool for this year and he's been so excited for his classes to start. Here he is before his first class.....

And after.......

He's still smiling so I guess that's a good sign. He said he loved his new class and his new teacher Miss Cindy.

Summer Group Part 5!

2010-08-28T18:57:00.001-07:00

For our last summer activity we decided to go up to This Is The Place on the Wed. before Pioneer Day.....it was only $2 a person! I had never been there before and the kids and I had a great time exploring. Most of the year round kids were back in school so this trip was just us and Grandma Bond.

Riding the train. Hands down Tanner's favorite part.....

We went for a horse drawn carriage ride.

The boys even got to sit up front for a little while and hold the reins. The drive, John, was being quite flirtatious with me. I was torn between being uncomfortable and I admit it, just a little bit flattered.

They were scared to pet the horses at first, but the driver finally talked them into it. (Yes, that's another fingernail shot).

We walked up the hill and they panned for real gold. It was a pretty hot day so we enjoyed spending a few minutes by the water in the shade.

They got to take their gold nugget down to the town and exchange it for candy at the bank.

We explored teepees.......

The boys did some sand art.....

Weston and Tanner both rode a pony for the first time......

They loved the "playground" which was a mini replica of a pioneer village. They could have played there all day....

They loved the petting zoo. They were scared of the billy goats with horns, but the animals were so affectionate they soon won them over....

We had such a great time. We'll definitely come here again!

Summer Group Part 4!

2010-08-28T17:16:00.001-07:00

Blackridge Reservoir in Herriman was a huge success. I can't believe how many people don't know about this place. It's only a 10 min drive away and it's the sweetest little swimming hole with fun sandy beaches. It's one of my kids favorite places to go.

Doesn't she look like she's posing for the Sport Illustrated Swimsuit Issue? Look at those great legs.....running does a body good!

These are the kind of swimsuit shots that work for me.......far away.

This little guy wouldn't go near the lake, but he loved loved loved the sand and mud. He spent the entire time throwing it at everyone, putting it on his head, kicking his feet in it. It was hilarious.

I didn't know they were taking a photo, I was on the phone. Love the grimace.

Now these are some HOT MAMAS!!!

Water, Sand, Sun and Oreos.....life doesn't get any better than this!

Summer Group Part 3!

2010-08-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

For our next activity we went up to Bingham Copper Mine. I haven't been there since I was about 8 years old. It was fun and interesting. We wandered around the visitors center and watched a film explaining how the Bingham mining settlement came to be and how they extract the copper from the rock. The kids favorite part? No suprise.....the huge trucks!

Like my fingernail in this shot? That's some impressive photography skills right there!

Summer Group Part 2!

2010-08-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

Our next activity was a smaller group (the year-round kids were still in school), but we had a great time anyway. We hiked up to Donut Falls. The run-off was so high that we didn't make it all the way to the falls, but the weather was perfect and we enjoyed being in the great outdoors.

I'm thinking Weston wants Tanner's cookie.....

Summer Group Part 1

2010-08-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

Over the summer I decided to do a Summer Fun Activity Group. Each Wed. we picked a different fun thing to go do with all the kids. We had such a good time and it got my kiddos out of the house. I left it open to whoever wanted to come so we ended up having a different group of people at almost every activity. We tried to keep things as inexpensive as possible and it worked out great. Most activities didn't cost a thing except a sack lunch and we carpooled to save on gas. I had a huge list of things to do, but we didn't get to all of them so I'm tucking it away and saving some for next Summer. Doing these activities really gave me appreciation for this great area we live in. There is so much to do around here! Aside from our Wednesday activities we also went over to the Summer Days Dollar Movies on Tuesdays. Top that off with going camping almost every weekend and it made for one crazy-busy-fun-filled summer break! No wonder my kids didn't want to go back to school!

For our first activity we toured the Sweet's candy factory. It's a lot of fun for both adults and kids. It's interesting to actually watch the candy being made. You know how they clean the chocolate coating machines? With chocolate. They can't use water because if any is left in the machine the chocolate will seize up so they heat up a batch of chocolate to really high temps and "scour" the machine with it.....pretty cool. My boys and I had done it once before and they always wanted to go back. The best part would be all the free samples they hand out along the way.

I had to get a picture of all of us in our stylin' hair caps. Look at that group of boys! It was complete coincidence, but the only mom's that came on this activity were all-boy moms. After dragging 9 rowdy boys through the factory I'm suprised we left it still standing!

GNO!

2010-08-26T16:24:00.001-07:00

I don't know if you've ever been to the Cake Wrecks blog, but it is hee-lar-ious!

In her own words (her being the famous Jen, of course):

"A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it! A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected sugar-filled places."

Who would have thought that a blog about funky cakes could be so amusing? When I heard that they were coming here for a book signing I was determined to go.

It was awesome! They do a side-splittingly-funny slide show and people bring little mini replicas of the Wrecks from their website. My mom and sister joined me, so we had a night of laughter, girlie fun, and free cake.

Cake!

It doesn't get better than that.

This is one of my all-time favorite Wrecks from the blog. The "Poop Dog"....

This cupcake sized replica was made by my sister's friend. It's the "No Sexual Harrassment Cake" from the blog. Ha ha ha.

Yes, I did buy the book. Jen asked me what I'd like her to write when she signed it, I said "Just whatever. I'm easy." This is what I got......

If you know the cake that started it all this makes perfect sense......

Curtis Famiy Reunion 2010

2010-08-26T15:27:00.001-07:00

Mike has this huge awesome tight-knit extended family. They still get together for reunions every year. I love it. My extended family has never been that close. There's a couple of them I see at Christmas, but I have cousins out there that I've never even met. The Curtis family just grows and grows, but no matter who "joins" they just extend their arms and envelope you right into the clan like you've always been a member. This year we went up to Indian Creek. It was a beautiful campsite high up above Joe's Valley. It was a long drive, but it was worth it.

The annual talent show/auction. Sadly some of us don't posses enough talent to participate, but we enjoy watching those who do have it. This isn't even half the group.....
One of my best memories from this year's trip was going out for a 4 mile run by myself. I don't get the opportunity to trail run very much, but I love it. It's so peaceful to be out there running through the beautiful scenery. My heart just swells with gratitude for this amazing place we live in. I was out running and I happened to look back in the trees and see something.....later I took the cousins out there to show them. It was a tepee made of sticks!

Where is this baby's mother? Would somebody please feed him? The poor child is eating bark for heaven's sake....bark!

Mike's sister Mellinda...

More cute boys....

Some wonderful person brought up pinatas for the kids to break. They had a blast!

Tanner had such a swing on him! He was in the younger age group and he was the only from that group who could make a dent in the pinata without parental help. I wasn't suprised at all....he's an expert at breaking things!

We took a short drive up to Potter's Ponds to canoe and fish.

Seriously! Where is this baby's mother? Every picture of him he's putting something dirty in his mouth!

Mike took Caeden out for some one-on-one fishing time and Caeden caught an Albino Trout. He was so excited! His daddy caught a rainbow trout, but Caeden kept saying that the Albino's were the hardest fish of all to catch. I wish I would have got a picture. It was a pretty big moment for him.
I think they might have had TOO MUCH FUN! It sure made for a nice drive home though.

A Weekend of Bliss!

2010-08-25T10:45:00.001-07:00

This is one of those "catch-up" posts I warned about. We actually took this trip in June, but our summer has been so busy and so packed with fun stuff I didn't get most of it blogged. My wonderful younger sister took our 3 boys for a whole weekend and Mike and I got to go on a trip just the two of us. We went up to Causey Reservoir (love it there!). There's nothing more romantic than paddling across a lake in the twilight. It's so peaceful and quite. The fish jump, the night sounds are beautiful, the stars are amazing!

We were so wrapped up in being with each other that we didn't take very many pics, but the day we were headed home we decided to go on a "short" 6 mile hike up to Mt. Lewis Peak. I used to hike it growing up and I hadn't been up there in years. It wasn't too long before we realized that it was 6 miles up and 6 miles back....not 6 miles round-trip. We're in pretty decent shape right now (not trying to brag) so the distance wasn't a problem, we even ran quite a bit of it, but we got back lots later than we had planned (we also hadn't packed a lunch! I was soooo hungry!)

This view was worth the 12 miles!

Mike said I had to get a picture of the canoe strapped to the vehicle to prove that we did in fact canoe. I love having pictures from my trips, but I also don't always mind when we're having too much FUN to take many pictures!

I love having time to reconnect as a couple. We come back feeling like newlyweds. We hold hands more, tease each other, flirt, laugh, and remember how much we love each other. I'm already thinking of trip ideas for next year. Shhh! I might be planning a suprise that has to do with:

1- a labyrinth

2- complete isolation

3- and a guide book by Thomas G. Rampton

Primary Bike Parade

2010-08-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

I just had to post a couple of pictures from this great Primary activity. The kids loved it, but the best part is this guy.....

see that smile?

He just barely (finally!) got the hang of riding his bike without training wheels and he's had his bum in the saddle almost non-stop ever since.

And this one......

is a speedy terror on his scooter, watch out!

Sweet rewards!

Family Reunion at Crystal Hot Springs

2010-08-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

For Mike's family reunion this year we went up to Crystal Hot Springs for the weekend. It was tons of fun for everyone. If you haven't been there before it's a water park resort. They have a hot springs and a cold springs that run within 50 feet of each other (it's 1 of only 2 places in the world that have a hot springs and a cold springs running that close together). They pipe the springs into different pools, add in a water slide and PRESTO! family fun for everyone! We camped in one of the sites right behind the water park.

Rule #1: Don't take pictures of me in a swimsuit. Mike took a bunch of horrible pictures of me on vacation once. I was in a suit that was too big and packing some baby weight. I was horrified and refused to scrapbook them. Now he's scared to ever get another swimsuit picture of me.....so, this is the only photo of me from the trip and I'm okay with that.

This cute kid is excited to go swimming, can you tell?

This is my wonderful, amazing, kind, sweet, generous mother-in-law. I know the stereotype is for women to dislike their MIL's, but I really lucked out in that department. She's someone I look up to and I love her so much! Mike's oldest sister and one of her two cute boys........

Second cute boy....
Can you believe that this beautiful girl was just barely born when Mike and I started dating? She's all grown up now. Time goes so fast! Tanner loves, loves, LOVES Tia and her older sister Morgan. He asks all the time if they can be his sisters. They are so sweet with him. They spend a lot of time playing with him, it's great!

The kids all got a kick out of standing underneath the "waterfall".....can you guess who that is?
I don't have any pics of Mike's other sis, but this is her hubby. Jake and I worked together and that's how Mike and I met. Jake and Mellinda are body builders, can you tell? They have four sweet girls and one boy.
This sweet little guy was cutting molars on the trip. He was pretty crabby, even in the water. I thought I had some really cool waterslide pics, but when I got home and dowloaded them most turned out really fuzzy. I'm not a photographer so I'm not sure why. These are two of our nieces. Caeden and his cousin Dylan claimed that they went down the waterslide a million times. I think I believe it. For at least 3 hours straight they ran up the stairs and went down the slides over and over and over. He slept good that night! Tanner went down once, but was too scared after that. This boy? No fear!This is one of the hot mineral pools, hence the color. I love these handsome guys!

Sisters Trip 2010! Whoot! Whoot!

2010-08-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

My sisters and I have sporadically taken Sister's Trips together. We've always had tons of fun, been as silly as teenage girls, and had lots of heartfelt talks.....the kind only sisters can have. Life has gotten in the way for too many years now and we haven't done one in forever! My oldest sister lives out of state so she wasn't able to come, but me and my baby sis decided that we need to start the tradition up again....even if it means just going somewhere close for overnight. Our wonderful hubby's took the kids and she and I headed up for a two day one night canoeing trip at Causey Reservoir. She'd never been canoing before and loved loved loved it. It's a beautiful place to paddle and we had an incredible time together. We fished, swam, talked (and talked, and talked, and talked) made s'mores, hauled the canoe up and down the beach (we are women hear us roar! yes, it was heavy and hard, we even lifted and strapped that thing to the top of my Toyota!), laughed (and laughed and laughed and laughed), and "cliff" dived (well, our version, which consists of a rock 2 feet up from the water, there are a lot of people who do real cliff diving there though and it's exhilirating to watch!) We had a wonderful, amazing, memorable time.

When I get together with my sisters we are the biggest bunch of goofballs. Seriously I think we would put a pack of 12 year old girls to shame. My sister Cherie always strikes the corniest poses in pictures. It's a family joke. Luckily I know she'll always love me no matter what and that she'll forgive me for sharing these on my blog he he he.

I love this girl and I'm so lucky to have her. She's my best friend and a wonderful example to me. She's big-hearted, fun, supportive, and strong. The only thing that would have made the trip even better is if my oldest sister, Tonya, could have been there. We missed her tons, it just wasn't the same! I have a photo of me and my sisters in the kitchen, the frame reads: Having a Sister is Like Having a Best Friend for Life. So true.

Our trip could have ended on a real sour note because just as we were getting ready to finish loading up and heading home we realized that I had accidentally locked my keys in the car. Causey doesn't have cell phone reception and the nearest gas station is 20 min away. We had a nutso who was determined to break one of my windows, but luckily a nice couple intervened and drove us down the mountain. These people were incredible! I had locked my purse in the car and so I had no money, no cell phone.....I felt so helpless. They offered to buy us drinks and lunch (we passed, we were both starving, but we already felt we were putting them out so much!). Cher had a girlie emergency (worst timing in the world!) and the woman handed her some cash to help. They drove us to the gas station and when there wasn't a city phone book they drove us to the ranger station to track down a sheriff, then they drove us back to the gas station to meet the locksmith. They guy even tried to talk me into taking his cell phone, he lived in the same area as I did and said he'd just pick it up from me the next day. I declined, but I couldn't believe he would offer that to a complete stranger. They were so sweet and so nice. The locksmith was great too, he drove me up to the top of the mountain (he could only take one passenger, Cher waited at the gas station), made me a spare key in the back of his vehicle, charged me the "city" price (just to be nice, he didn't want my vacation ruined), and helped me strap the canoe on before I headed back down to get Cher. It went about as well as a bad situation could have. We felt very blessed and watched over. There really are some wonderful people out there!

Mike's 24th Birthday!

2010-08-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Mike's 24th birthday (that's what age he's claiming this year) by dining al fresco in our backyard. The weather was just too beautiful and perfect to pass up! We had one of Mike's favorite meals: fresh baked French Bread, homemade Lasagna, a green salad, and a Chocolate Mousse Crunch cake for dessert. For his birthday the boys and I got him a new biking outfit and helmet and an Ipod gift card. He's been biking to work on Wednsdays every week (all the way out to Cottonwood) and we wanted to show our support. He's a great husband and father and we love the opportunity to celebrate him!

School Begins!

2010-08-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

Here's my big 2nd grader! I can't believe how grown up he's getting! In a couple of months he'll be baptized and joining scouts. I'm so proud of him! (He would be SO embarassed to read his mom's gushy posts).

Watch out World! He's Five!

2010-08-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Tanner's 5th birthday. His favorite present was a scooter from Mom and Dad. He's growing up so much! He adds lots of suprise and spice to our lives!
Likes:
1- to make messes!
2- cuddling and giving kisses
3- bandaids, tape, stickers...basically anything sticky
4- sweets.....lots and lots of them, we have to hide everything that has sugar!
5- his Nana
6- pirates
7- camping
8- being outside, he's a summertime boy!
9- following Caeden around .... he always wants the same thing that Caeden picks
10- fireworks
11- bugs
12- popcorn
13- cooking with mom

Dislikes-
1- Time-out, being sent to bed, being grounded (he gets lots of this unfortunately)
2- being left out when Caeden's friends are over
3- watching TV
4- tuna fish
5- being stuck in the house
6- holding still
7- water (he's scared if he's not held while in a lake or swimming pool)
8- chores
9- car rides
10- having his hair combed

Argh! A Buckaneer Bash for Tanner!

2010-08-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

Tanner really wanted a Pirate Party for his 5th birthday this year. We had so much fun with it. I sent out Message in a Bottle invites......

We decorated our whole patio and yard for the party. It looked pretty spiffy, but as usual, my poor photography skills don't do it justice!

The Captains Quarters- the table is has gold coins, jewels and a silver hook.....

A Seascape with a treasure chest.....

All the kiddos were dressed up like pirates with an eye patch, bandana, sword, sash, treasure pouch, and tattoo......

The Galley (I had to post this picture because it shows one of the two pirate flags I made, I'm not an artist, so I was quite proud of how they turned out!)....

I made card labels for all the snacks: SeaChips (blue corn tortilla chips) Seaweed Dip (guacamole) Sea Knots (pretzels) Shark Bait (Goldfish) Minnows (Swedish Fish) Gold Nuggets (cheese cubes) Tasty Treasure (Rolos) Cannonballs (Whoppers) and bottles of cold Grape Crush to drink.

To prove that they had what it takes to become a true pirate they had to pass a series of Pirate Tests.

Our canoe became The Red Dragon. The most feard pirate ship around.

The kids threw cannon balls (water balloons) at the other enemy ships.

As a reward for their bravery and valor they got to dig for jewels in the creepy Pirate Graveyard.......

Then they had to show their mettle by Walking the Plank. Afterwards they got to look for gold coins in The Swamp (a big tub filled with water and slimey wet raffia).....

Their pouches were getting filled with treasure, but pirates are notoriously greedy and they wanted more so they had to do a 3rd test. They had to show that they could "bail" water, by filling up a cup with water, walking up the ladder and sliding down the slide without spilling it. The rewards was another hunt for gold dabloons.

We then feasted on a pirate ship cake .....

Their last activity was following a picture Treasure Hunt that led them all through the yard and to the chest filled with the greatest treasure of all....their party favor bags.

Everything went great and I think the kids had a fantastic time. We ended up getting rained out the last few minutes, but overall it was a great party!My little buckaneer.......

Too Much Fun!

2010-07-20T07:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't had time to update the ol' bloggy blog. We've been having too much fun this summer! I honestly haven't been on the computer much......which is a good thing. So be prepared, when we have a day at home I'm going to download tons of photos (why does that process always take so long?) and probably do several posts in succession. Some of the exciting things to blog about:

our Summer Activity Group and the fun stuff we've been doing:

Sweet's Candy Factory, hiking, Blackridge Reservoir, Bingham Copper Mine

summer dollar days at the movies

family reunion

canoeing

fishing

swimming

Mike and I even go on a kid-free weekend away together......pretty cool! Lots to tell!

Poem

2010-06-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

I have an amazing little sister who is a very talented writer (my older sister is too, what's up with that? I guess it skipped one). She's been going to grief therapy since my brother died and her Dr. suggested she use the outlet of poetry to express her feelings, she's written several, but this one is my favorite so far. She posted it on her blog just yesterday and I just had to share.

Writing Poetry Therapy

When tears are not enough to ease the pain

When the heart seems full of agony and grief

When the mind cannot accept the reality

When death is the final word that was spoken

Remembering the happy times, the memories

Remembering the smiles and the laughter

Remembering the times together, just talking

Remembering the last time I heard your voice

Knowing my love for you was not enough

Knowing that I would have been a call away

Knowing that many good times were ahead

Knowing that you chose another path instead

Sometimes you have to accept the last choice

Sometimes you have to know it was an answer

Sometimes you have to believe it was for love

Sometimes you have to say goodbye too early

Refined Taste

2010-06-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

Wanna know something kinda funny and quirky about Weston?

He loves to eat baby wipes!

I have to make sure I shut the top on the container or I'll walk in on him holding a handful and munching away.

Hmmm, baby wipes. So soft, so flavorful. Yum!

(It's hard to get a candid picture of him because everytime I come at him with a camera he drops what he's doing and bolts for the camera!)

Help!

2010-06-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

I know I joke around about Tanner and his awesome powers of destruction, but it really is a huge problem. He's out of control.

He's almost 5, yet we have to lock every door, childproof every cabinet, hide anything that might be the slightest bit of a temptation for him. Despite all of our precautions he still manages to do the naughtiest things.

It's not just innocent curiosity. He'll get into trouble for something and go out and do the same thing the next hour, the next day, all week long. I feel like we've tried everything: time-outs, sending him to bed, sending him to his room, grounding, spanking, Love and Logic, 1,2,3, Magic.....nothing works! Nothing!

Does he need counseling? Medication? I'm to the point where I can hardly stand him.

Don't get me wrong, I love him. I love him to pieces, but I dread when he wakes up in the morning. I get so angry at him that I'll be literally shaking. And it seems to happen on a daily basis.....some days an hourly basis.

I've tried spending lots of time with him so he gets plenty of attention, I've tried keeping him busy and occupied with activities, I've tried being positive and making a huge deal out of every good thing I see him do. No change.

It's not just destruction, although that is a huge problem, he's also very defiant. I tell him not to do something and he'll yell back, hit, throw things at me. A couple of days ago he got into trouble for turning on the water in the backyard (again, and again, and again) and I sent him to bed early that night. We've been having him sleep on the futon in our storage room because we can't put him with the other boys (he keeps them up all night and last time we tried to let him sleep in his room he pulled everything off the walls......even made a picture fall down on Weston). I have some canning jars in there. He was furious at being sent to bed so he started throwing glass jars. I ran in there as fast as I could once I heard glass shattering, but he's already broke some and we had to clean up the mess.

He got into the child-proofed fridge downstairs and pulled out all the cubes of butter. I came downstairs and had butter everywhere. I cleaned it up spanked him and sent him to bed, but I guess he'd stashed a couple where I didn't see because the next afternoon he got them out and stuffed butter in every nook and cranny he could find....8 cubes of greasy butter all over the basement. Mike cleaned that one up and it took hours. Did it matter that he'd got in trouble for the same thing the night before? Nope. It never does.

I had a neighbor from around the corner come to my door last week and tell me that he'd almost hit Tanner with his truck because he was out playing in the street. He KNOWS he's not supposed to do that. He just doesn't care. He's so impulsive, he never thinks before he does anything. He doesn't consider consequences of any kind and it scares me.

This morning it's already begun. He shoved a bunch of dry cereal into a full carton of milk. After I tried, in vain, to remove it I finally just gave up and told him he wasn't getting breakfast this morning. He screamed and tried to hit me so I sent him to his room.....where he proceeded to tear everything up because he was mad. What should I have done differently? It would be one thing if he was two, or three, but he's almost five!

What do I do? I'm at the end of my rope. I'm so frustrated with him on an almost constant basis. It doesn't matter how "strict" I am, nothing seems to change. I worry that I'm crushing his self-esteem by being constantly mad at him, but I don't know what else to do. He doesn't follow the rules. He doesn't care about punishments or even awards for good behaviour.

Help! Any suggestions?

Look Out Below!

2010-06-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

This is one of those stories that never got told because at the time it

was. not. funny.

Now that a couple of months has passed though I see the humour in it and I have a feeling it's going to be a family classic.

Tanner likes to help. He's really sweet about it and when I keep him busy helping me he tends to get into less trouble (or so the theory goes). When Weston has a messy diaper I put it in a plastic grocery sack and my sweet little helper runs it to the outside garbage for me. He's been great about doing this little chore since Weston was born.

I guess he got bored.

I heard a knock on my door. I answered it and it was the neighbor who lives behind me. She is mad. Fuming mad. Apparantly for the past few days instead of taking the dirty diapers out to the garbage like he was supposed to Tanner decided it would be a lot more fun to lob it over the fence into the neighbors yard. Unsuspecting little me, I just kept giving him more ammunition and thanking him for "taking care of it". This poor lady had been bombarded with stinky diaper after stinky diaper. She said one got stuck in her tree, one landed on their patio swing.....her dog had even gotten ahold of a couple and shredded them all over the yard. This had been going on for days before she finally drove around the block to confront me.

I was mortified.

I didn't blame her for being angry. I told her I didn't know he'd been doing that, but I got the impression she didn't believe me. I apologized and the next day we made a batch of brownies and I made Tanner walk over there with me to deliver them and apologize in person. Ever since then I went to great lengths to avoid them. They accepted our apology, but I never felt like we were on the greatest terms with them after that. Luckily, they just moved last week. I wonder if they gave the new home owners a heads up about what they're in for.

What will Tanner do next?

Springtime Fun!

2010-06-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

I notice every few months that we had some fun family times that I never had the time to blog about. So......I like to do a little seasonal post every now and then.
I can't believe I never posted our Easter pics!

The boys in their handsome Easter suits.

We watched The Lamb of God on Easter Sunday and Caeden really payed attention to the story of Christ's death and resurrection. I love that he's finally old enough to "get it".

Digging in their Easter baskets:My Easter craft: tie-dye eggs. I found the idea here. It was so easy and I loved the end result.

Flying kites for FHE. The boys flew their kites for about 5 min. and then ran off to the playground. Weston loved to watch them though.

My boys can't ever seem to get enough of their grandparents. I loved this picture of all of them crawling over their Papa.

For Memorial weekend we went camping with Nana and Papa. We also brought my niece, Kaylin, along with us. We went to the Scandanavian Festival and parade in Ephraim. Caeden called the marching band "Horners" (because of their trumpets) and the clogging dance troup "Stompers".

Kaylin thought the local royalty were all Princesses and wanted a picture with one of the girls:

This lady was telling the neatest early pioneer stories. We stayed here for probably 40 min. because the kids were so enraptured.

This was the best part:

I made this for a family dinner after Memorial Weekend. I love how it turned out. I got the idea here

I just have to post this. Tanner is such a heavy sleeper and he always ends up in the oddest positions. How can he sleep like this?

A Heavenly Message?

2010-06-09T14:41:00.000-07:00

I've often heard that for children the veil between Heaven and Earth can be thin. I'd like to think that a special message was sent to me. I don't know if that's the case of not, but it's touched me all the same.

Tanner likes to collect stuff. He picks up the oddest assortment of things. We rarely know where he even gets the treasures he brings home (yes, he's a bit of a klepto and usually brings home "souveniers" from peoples houses). When he was out with his Papa and Nana he found a balloon. It was one of those little message balloons that is usually on a pick. He brought it home and was playing with it. I didn't pay any attention to it. About an hour later he brought it over to me and said "Here mom. This is from Uncle Wayne. He said to give it to you." I picked it up and this is what it said:

You'll Be Missed.

Tanner can't read, he thinks all balloons are for birthdays. I even asked my Dad, his Papa, if he'd said anything about Wayne when Tanner found the balloon. He hadn't and Tanner never said anything about it to him. When he gave me that sweet gift it brought tears to my eyes, but they were good tears. I think I might go stick it on Wayne's grave. My way of telling him "Right back attcha."

Buppy our Puppy

2010-06-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

Poor kid. His nickname was Buppy, but that has slowly evolved into Puppy. "Puppy, come have a bath." "Puppy, it's time to eat." "Come here Puppy." It sounds degrading, but when we use his sweet little nickname it's full of all the love, adoration, and fondness we can possibly squeeze into the name. The whole family is madly in love with this little baby.

He hasn't shown any interest in walking. Instead he does this quirky little knee-walking. It's not a crawl, but it's not walking either. It's so funny to watch him. Ouch! I think that would kill my knees.

Last Sunday I was sitting in Relief Society and he just let go of my chair and walked up the aisle! I couldn't believe it!! None of the usual, one wobbly step, maybe two wobbly steps, fall down. Nope. He just went for it and walked 5-6 steps in one go. Crazy! Of course his daddy is skeptical because I haven't been able to get him to show him his neat new trick. Where is my camera when I need it? Of course now that I have access to my camera I can't get him to do it again.....figures.

Caeden-Bug

2010-06-07T14:35:00.000-07:00

Caeden told me one night that he wanted to read Harry Potter. I knew why he wanted to read it. It didn't stem from love of literature, reading, or even a desire to know the story (I haven't let them watch the movie, too scary!). No, he wanted to read it because one of his friends was reading it. This friend is an older boy (gasp! he's already baptized, which in Caeden's world makes him an automatic beacon of wisdom and knowledge) and he knows all things Pokemon......this amazing combination of traits has caused Caeden to have a bit of hero-worship. So, in his world it's simple logic that if he's reading Harry Potter, Caeden therefore must read Harry Potter.

Not one to ever discourage my kids from reading I agreed to pick the book of from the library and we could read it together. Honestly, Caeden had never read a long chapter book that didn't have pictures, so I expected his interest to fizzle out within a couple of days. To my suprise he loved the book. In the beginning I would see him squirming and being fidgety. He would seem really distracted and not paying attention. Well. I didn't want to read the whole book outloud if he wasn't going to even listen to the story, so I would stop and ask him what had just happened. Never-fail he recited back to me exactly what was going on with the plot at that point. We read the entire 1st book of the series together and we've started on the second one. He has always loved being read to and it's fun for me to actually get to read a book together that's interesting for me as well.

My favorite part? He snuggles with me the whole time. Just for that alone I wish the series would go on forever.

Here he is with his 1st grade teacher. She really did an excellent job with the class this year and I'm happy that she's going to be following him through 2nd grade as well. And yes, despite the face he's pulling he really does like her, he said he wanted to have a pirate face.......?.....okay, whatever.

His end-of-year program.

He's growing up so fast!

Tanner Bo-banner

2010-06-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

This little guy graduated from preschool recently (but not really because we're sending him back for another year instead of on to kindergarten).

He loved Ms Angie and he loved carpooling with his good buddy.

He was so excited that both of his grandmas came.When his teacher handed out the diplomas she made a few comments about each child's personality. With Tanner she said that he was the classroom DJ. He had a whole arsenal of tunes that he would belt out all the time. He would request everything from 5 Speckled Frogs, to Follow the Prophet, to Boom-Boom-Pow by the Black Eyed Peas, to Queens Greatest Hits (he LOVES Queen, especially We Will Rock You). It was so "Tanner"......he loves music. He loves loves loves music. He rarely watches TV unless it's the Wiggles, the Doodlebobs or one of the Disney musicals. He can be such an angel.....

He can also be such a little devil.

What? He doesn't look like a devil. That's because he's having a mandatory naptime after he colored on my basement walls, got into my car and emptied out all my cubbies and glove box, stole and ate an entire pack of gum, dumped my jewelry out onto the floor, sneaked into the cupcakes I had set aside for FHE (I found the very messy remains behind my living room curtains), turned on the hose and flooded part of the backyard, and dumped a sack of potting soil on my front porch. Oy! I don't know if I'm ready for Summer Vacation afterall.

I love that little stinker.

Gratitude

2010-05-24T13:52:00.000-07:00

I'm grateful for....

1. Boys who still let me call them "baby" and sit on my lap (yes all of them, although Caeden would be mortified if any of his friends saw).

2. A full vegetable garden with buds starting to come up.

3. My stash of PB M&Ms in the cupboard that has yet been undiscovered by Tanner (I swear that boy smells chocolate from a mile away).

4. Wonderful friends who force to me to get out and run.

5. Prayer

6. A new peach tree planted in the backyard.

7. Plans to go camping this weekend.

8. A wonderful husband who lets me pick the weekend movie even when he knows he's going to be sitting through a chick-flick.

9. My daddy and step-mom who feed us pizza and play with the boys

10. A clean kitchen

11. A compassionate church leader who took the time to council with me

12. A baby who loves to smile

13. Sisters

14. 3 new summer shirts

15. Being allowed to choose the paint for our new master bedroom

16. Neighbors who let me pick some of their lilacs to take to my brother's grave

17. Finding a pre-school for Tanner for next year

18. Mine and my family's health

19. A husband who works hard to provide for his family and has had steady work despite the tough economy

20. The sunshine that came out and melted the snow from this mornings spring snow-storm

Depression? or grief?

2010-05-12T08:03:00.001-07:00

I don't know if it's grief, depression, or a mix of both, but I am on a constant daily emotional roller coaster.
Sometimes I can't get up the motivation to leave my house, sometimes I can't stand to be here. I sat in my driveway and cried for 20 min last week after a grocery shopping trip.....I didn't want to get out of the car and actually come in. Other times I've went days without leaving even though there were things that had to be done.
I miss my brother and sometimes I'd give anything to talk to him and tell him how much I love him, other times I'd just like to yell and scream at him for this selfish thing that he's done.
Sometimes I hate being alone and I just need to talk to somebody, friends, family....anybody who will listen and take my mind off things. Other times I dont' answer my phone because I just want to be alone.
Sometimes I want to be with my children to love and cherish every minute. Other times I want to just hop in the car and drive away from all of the fighting and fussing.
Sometimes I just want to sleep all. the. time. ......other times......wait. no. I pretty much just want to sleep all the time. I'm so constantly exhausted. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog with bricks strapped to my feet.
I hate any time that I'm open to thinking: like when I'm driving, cleaning, lying in bed at night. I wish I could just have normal thoughts and daydreams like I used to. Instead those times are now filled with constant thoughts about my brother and the horrible act he comitted.
At times I feel so much guilt it's almost physically crushing. Guilt at not telling my brother how much I loved him when I talked to him two days before his death. Guilt at not driving up to Ogden to see him more often. Guilt at not realizing just how sad he really was. Guilt at being an impatient and tense mom. Guilt at not playing or laughing with my boys. Guilt at not being very affectionate with Mike. Guilt at my messy house that I don't have the energy to clean. Guilt at serving unhealthy meals like frozen pizza and fast food. Guilt at not getting out and running. Guilt at not having the faith to be at peace.

It seems like whenever you hear anybody talk in church about losing a loved one all they talk about it the peace that they feel from knowing the Plan of Salvation and the comfort that it brings them. Because I'm not there yet I've been hard on myself. Maybe I really don't have the faith that other members of the church do. Maybe I'm not worthy of the comfort that comes from the Holy Ghost.

I've started reading some books on grief and specifically on being a "suicide survivor" and I'm learning that what I'm going through is actually very very normal. The ups and downs, the fatigue, the inability to concentrate. The feelings of grief and depression have stages and everyone works through them at their own pace. I'm wondering why it's such a taboo subject in our society (and in our church) to be honest about struggling with a loved ones death. Even from my earlier post I stated that I wouldn't constantly write about my struggles with Wayne's death because I didn't want anyone to know that it's not been an easy road for me. It makes me seem weak. It makes me feel like I don't have the faith to be "healed". I'm learning that healing takes time.......even for people who have faith and strong religious beliefs. Just because you believe in a merciful Heavenly Father and you believe that you will see your loved one again, it doesn't mean that the pain of losing them and missing them will magically go away.

I've never lost someone this close to me in any other way, but more than one book stated that when you lose a loved one to suicide your grieving process is more prolonged and intense because the nature of the death was so unnatural. There's a lot of extra baggage that comes with losing someone that way. So many unanswered questions. Several people have asked me "why?". I wish I knew. My family wishes they knew. We dont' know "why". We probably never really will. We knew of his financial struggles and his history of depression, but we don't know what finally made him crack. It's hard to say what is more sad to me, losing him, or knowing how utterly hopeless he must have been feeling to take such a drastic step. I want to know "why". I want to know how long he had been planning this. Was it a last minute decision fueled by intense feelings of frustration (he and his girlfriend had been fighting all night)? Or did he know, when I talked to him on that Wed and he agreed to come down on Saturday.....did he know he wouldn't be fulfilling that promise? Did he think of any of us in the end? Or was he so wrapped up in his pain that he was only thinking of himself? Did he know how much we all loved him? Did he know how much I loved him? I need to accept that fact that so many of my unanswered questions will never be answered. This is going to be a hard struggle for me.

There are so many questions that I dont know how to answer. What do I say when people ask me how many brothers and sisters I have? A few people have asked me how he died. That's a hard one to answer. I usually just say he committed suicide, but I had one insensitive individual who wanted to know "how".....does it really matter? This isn't a tabloid story or a sensational news cast. This is someone I love. I hate telling people how he died because I know a lot of assumptions are made about someone who does something like this......in all honesty prior to this I'm probably just as guilty of making some unfair judgements. I dont' know what to say when people ask me how I"m doing. Do I just tell them "okay"? I think that's what they want to hear so that's what I say. I'm greateful to have a couple of close friends that don't make me pretend that I'm "okay". They'll listen to me endlessly talk about everything. They check up on me. I appreciate that more than words can express. I don't know what to say when people tell me they couldn't "handle" losing a sibling or a loved one. It's not like I had a choice. If you had asked me a few weeks ago if I could "handle" something like this I would have honestly told you that losing someone close to me was probably my #1 fear. I don't know if it was a premonition of things to come, but a week before it happened I was driving in my car and I started thinking about how I would deal with it if my husband/ children/ parents/ or one of my siblings were to get in a fatal car accident. The thought was so abhorrent to me that tears pricked my eyes and I sent up a feverant prayer for my Heavenly Father to keep my loved ones protected and safe. It's not something I ever thought I could "handle".

I read that depression is a natural part of grief and unless it's severe (aka: you're making yourself sick, having destructive behavior, or thinking thoughts of suicide) it's best to just let time run it's course. I'd love to go to couseling, but our mental health insurance is very inadequate.

My posts, like my thoughts, about Wayne probably go around in never ending circles. I wish I could be publishing inspiring posts about how much I've grown from this experience and how it has strengthened my relationship with my Savior. I'm just not there yet. I'm trying though. I pray. I pray all the time. I've read religious material dealing with my current situation. I've had a priesthood blessing. I'm tring to make arrangments to go to the temple (my babysitting has fallen through twice). I'm trying to get outside of myself and serve others. Now I guess I just need time. I may not have the faith to have immediate comfort and peace, but at least my fledging faith is enough to believe that comfort and peace will come and I will be eventually be able to look back and see that this experience has made me stronger.

Family Update

2010-05-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

(I started this post a while back, but never got it finished because I was having a hard time downloading pics. I'm just going to post it as-is)

Between things with Wayne and getting our addition on the house finished I haven't written about, or posted pics of my kiddos in a while. Here's what we're all up to right now:

Caeden has really been getting into Pokemon lately. It's all he talks about. It's all he plays. It's where all of his extra money goes (cards, cards, cards, and more cards). He knows so many of the characters, where they come from, what type of Pokemon they are, what their strengths and weaknesses are. He tried to educate his hopeless mommy, but I think he's about ready to give up on me. I just don't get it. I doubt I ever will.

Tanner is just being Tanner. That usually means destruction galore. With as busy as Mike and I have been he's had lots of unsupervised time to wreck havoc.....and he's used it well. He loves helping his daddy work and he's been hauling around his little bag of "tools" and fixing things up. Out of all my children he's also the most sensitive. He can tell that Mommy is a little sad right now (even though I try really hard to not cry in front of the kids) and he's been so sweet and cuddly with me. I've been getting lots of extra loves from him lately and it really warms my heart.

What is Weston up to right now? Well he's eating, sleeping, or screaming. Yep. That's right. He's found his voice. He has the loudest, highest pitched, screetching that you can imagine, seriously I think it could shatter eardrums. And he screams All. The. Time. When he's hungry, when he wants to be picked up, when he wants to be put down, when he wants in the bathtub, when he wants out of the bathtub, when he wants the kitty.....sometimes I think he does it just because he likes the sound. It's not necessarily an angry or a sad scream, it's just a very loud reminder to anyone within a half-mile radius "HEY! I'M HERE! DON'T FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF ME!". My younger sister says it's Mommy Karma. Her youngest was a screetcher and I thought it was funny. Now my humour at her situation is coming back to haunt me.

Inspection....

2010-05-12T07:39:00.001-07:00

We had our final inspection Monday morning and after a few twitches to the electrical panel we passed! When Mike handed me the paper that said "ready for occupancy" I felt like crying. Things have been very intense lately. Mike went a full 48 hrs on only 3 hrs of sleep trying to finish up on time. I was up helping him until the wee hours of the morning several nights in a row as well and it was exhausting. Mother's Day? Did we miss that? Ha. We didn't even have the time to go to church that day. Yep. That's right. We worked all day on Sunday. We really didn't have a choice. We barely got things done in time. Mike didn't go to bed at all Sunday night, he just worked straight through until the next morning (crazy!) The inspector was supposed to come between 9-11am on Monday and by 9am we were not ready! Stressful! Luckily he didn't come until 10:30. As soon as we change the paint (we just sprayed everything white in the interest of saving time), and stain the wood floors I'll post pictures. It's a beautiful room and I'm loving it. I'm so blessed to have such a talented and hard working husband. He's the greatest!

The Call of the Siren

2010-04-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

The ancient stories of Greek Mythology tell of the beautiful Sirens. These "women" who were sometimes part animal sang the most beautiful songs imaginable. It was believed that their music was so irrisitable that no sailor was able to pass their island without being drawn by their melodious tunes. These unfortunate victims would meet their death on the rocks below.

The Sirens had it all wrong.

Who needs beautiful, naked, sexy, tempresses with golden voices to lure men it? We have a better way here at our house. I'll tell you the secret.......

Power tools.

Yep. That's right.....power tools.

Every time Mike is working on a project and our house is filled with the grating noises of saws, sanders, nail guns, and routers all the men in the neighborhood flock to our driveway. With all the "action" going on with the addition we're building we've been downright popular. The men across the street come over at least 3-4 times a week just to chat and check on things, the newbies who just moved in next door (that we hadn't seen or heard of the whole two months they lived there) are now friends, men we don't even know have come from around the corner or from down the block.

No need for nudity.

Do we lure them to their deaths? Of course not. That's unproductive. Instead we lure them in and then put them to work. Hey, wonderful neighbors across the street, want to haul off all this wood for your fireplaces? Great! Both of you next door are out of jobs? Hmmm, want some work? You know how to sheetrock? Fantastic! It's unbelievable how much work we've managed to get done by all of these suckers (aka: wonderful, amazing, talented, helpful people).

Now I just need to discover the secret of luring in househelp.

A Wise Perspective

2010-04-24T15:41:00.000-07:00

I promise I'm not going to turn our family blog into a day-by-day update on how I'm dealing with my sweet brother's death. My next post, whatever it is, will be upbeat.

That being said, I'm feeling quite depressed this weekend. I'm so short tempered with my children. Caeden asked me the other night why I was yelling all the time (of course THAT made me break down crying AGAIN). I'm kissing my boys and loving them every chance I get, but I'm also very tense and mentally exhausted. Sometimes their day to day needs feel like too much: fighting, Weston teething, making messes, turning up their noses at the food I prepare. The funeral plans took up so much time and that was helpful because it kept me busy and constantly going. Now it's over. It's been over a week since I learned the news and I feel like the world is saying "Okay, time's up, you're done mourning now......get on with your life." The problem is I'm NOT done. I still hurt and ache. I'm still going through that cycle of disbelief, sadness, numbness, anger. I feel the most guilty when I am numb. How can that be? How can I calmy talk about my brother's death like I would talk about a grocery list? I'm now starting to eat normally again and even sleep better. It's only been a week. How can I not still be crying non-stop? I still miss him. I still feel like this is such a nightmare. How can I just do normal everyday things like nothing is wrong?

I have a wonderful neighbor across the street who called up to check on me yesterday and offered an insight that has helped me so much. He's quite, ah-hem, advanced in years, and has lost many close loved ones in his life. He started talking to me about that very cycle that I've mentioned. He said it was his opinion that the Holy Ghost sometimes works in ways we don't expect. He said if we had to deal with all of those overwhelming feelings of sadness 24/7 we would break. He believed that the "numb" times were actually a gift from our Heavenly Father so that we can have time to process our grief. In his great mercy He holds back our pain for certain periods of time so that we can have a little bit of relief. So, it's okay when we feel like we can't cry anymore. It's okay when I can talk about horrible aspects of his death in a calm voice. It doesn't mean I'm not grieving him, it doesn't mean I'm "getting over him". It just means that I'm processing all of these feelings in stages. He said that the times of overwhelming sadness will get farther and farther apart. Right now I may break down crying a few times a day, but soon that will be only a few times a week, then a couple of times a month, and then only at certain poignent moments. It's the way it's supposed to be. I don't know why this little message has helped me so much. I guess it's because I was really stressing that since I'm not exactly to the point where I'm feeling much peace I've honestly wondered where my Heavenly Father was and why I wasn't recieving the comfort I was praying for. Thanks to my wonderful and wise neighbor I'm starting to realize that the Comforter has been helping me all along. It's not in the same way I'm used to feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost, but it's in a way that is going to help me to slowly deal with all of these feelings on my own time table. And my neighbor also left me with his testimony of another promise......when I'm ready for it the peace will come.

The Hardest Time

2010-04-23T06:17:00.000-07:00

I really really hate the mornings right now. By night time I'm numb, I can calmly talk about things and I don't cry. But the morning is tough. I wake up after dreaming about my brother all night (some good, some bad). It seems so fresh. I ache and cry and hurt all over again. I dread going to bed at night because I know what I'm going to be facing all over again. How long does this last?

Wayne's Obituary

2010-04-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

Wayne Jay "Doug" Robinson

Gone Fishin'

On Friday April 16, 2010, a bright light in our lives dimmed, flickered and went out. Wayne Jay "Doug" Robinson, age 32, beloved son, brother, fiance, grandson and uncle passed away unexpectedly in Plain City, Utah. Wayne did not know how to do things half-way. Whether is was laying a course of bricks for the company he owned, out-fishing his dad and brothers while using a broken fishing pole, or turning a turkey (one that he had spent days hunting) into a lump of charcoal in his deep fryer, Wayne always did things whole heartedly. He loved the Utah Jazz, Kansas City Chiefs, and playing poker. He was happiest when he was on his old boat in Willard Bay, hoping it would not break down. Wayne loved people, especially kids, and he would do anything he could to ease your burdens. His needs were second to your needs. Wayne was admired and respected by many, but especially by his family. It is an understatement to say that Wayne had character. Wayne was born on November 22, 1977 in West Valley City to Bruce and Patricia Jones Robinson. He spent most of his growing up years in Ogden, Utah where he made many lifelong friends. He is survived by his father Bruce (Lynn) Robinson, his mother Patricia (Bill) Bond; his brothers, Don (Roni) Robinson, Jeff (Nicole) Robinson, Chris Hansen; and his sisters, Tonya Robinson, Shauna (Mike) Jarvis, Cherie (Tim) Anderson, Sandy Barson; his fiancee Sarah Sandberg and her two kids, Harlee and Traycin; his grandmother, Dona Rae Bennett and many nieces and nephews. A memorial will be held for Wayne on Thursday, April 22, 2010, 11 a.m. at the Dixie Drive LDS Ward Chapel, 6500 S. Dixie Drive (3655 W.), West Jordan, Utah.

My tribute to him to be read at the funeral tomorrow:

Wayne and I were only 14 months apart. We were so close in age that when we were young children we did everything together. He was always such a tease. When I was 8 years old I went down to live with my dad for a couple of years. My mom was always telling me that out of all my brothers and sisters my absence was the hardest on Wayne. While I was living in Salt Lake my mom got me a kitten which she kept up in Ogden with her. I would go and visit my family on the weekends and Wayne always had some outrageous story about some catastrophe that had befallen my cat during the week. His best one that we've all rememberd was "Shauna, I have some really bad news for you. We left your cat outside in the rain, she got all soaking wet and when the sun came back out......she evaporated!" (I think I probably punched him in the arm at this point) then he said "Don't worry, don't worry! It rained again and she precipitated back to us.....geez!"

As we got older and entered our teenage years, we fought ALL THE TIME. I didn't think we'd ever be close again, but luckily that changed in our adult years. Shortly after Mike and I were married we decided to drive to South Dakota on Labor Day weekend to visit Tonya. Wayne wanted to go with us so we decided that we would get in the car and drive all night, stay at Tonya's house for two days, and then drive all night on the way back. Wayne had a lead foot on that trip and he kept timing our travel. He was deterimined to "beat" our time on the return trip. On the drive home I happened to get really car sick. Wayne was driving and I was on the front seat next to him. I told him I thought we were going to have to pull over because I was going to throw up. After a short pause he leaned over and handed me a plastic zip-lock bag off of the floor and said "Nah, we're making really good time, we can't stop, it will ruin it, just throw up in that."

We loved going camping, boating and fishing with Wayne. He was always so funny and so sweet with my children. Wayne was such a people person. He loved his sweet heart, his friends, and his family. He was so protective of his sisters. I remember one time we were sitting on the porch, just the two of us. He turned to me and told me that if anyone EVER hurt me, Tonya or Cherie, in anyway at all we just had to tell him and Don and they'd get a bunch of their friends together to go "take care" of the situation. I like to think that he's still just as protective over us. He's now watching over and protecting his sisters every single day. We will always love him. He will always be my big brother and I can't wait until we meet with him again.

Wayne Jay "Doug" Robinson

2010-04-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

Mon, April 19:

I don't even know how to begin writing about what has happened this week, but I feel it's such a monumental event in my and my families life I need to find a way to make a record of it. It's theraputic to just let it all out. I feel so raw. I'm just going to put down what I'm experiencing without any organizing or proof reading.

On Friday April 17, 2010 my big brother Wayne decided to take his own life.

I'm feeling so many different emotions it's hard to process them enough to write about it. I don't know when or if this post will actually ever be published. His manner of death is very painful and I would appreciate if any who read it would refrain from judging him. He was a beautiful person who was loved by many many people.

I've experienced more pain, trauma, disbelief, grief, and confusion in the last four days than I have in my entire life. I feel like I'm going through a neverending cycle of crushing sadness, anger, and then numbness. I can't believe this has happened. This kind of thing happens to other families, not ours. People who committ suicide are alone, not surrounded by supportive people who love them and would do ANYTHING for them. I had talked to Wayne just a couple of days before this tragedy happened and he sounded like he was doing great. His company was bringing in lots of new jobs and his girlfriend told us there were going to announce their plans to get married to his family this week. He was planning on coming down on Saturday morning and helping Mike on our house. No one saw this coming.

Wayne had always struggled with depression his whole life. He was so sensitive and would always feel thing so intensely. I know he had had a rough year. His masonry business had some set-backs with the economy and he was losing his house. He and his girlfriend/ fiancee seemed to be fighting a lot. He would never let anyone know how he was really doing. He put on such a happy face all the time. I can't hardly remember him any time when he wasn't laughing, smiling, or teasing. He never seemed to be what you would consider a "sad" person. But those of us who knew him well knew that he has always had his inner demons to fight. I can't even comprehend the torment that he must have been hiding from all of us to have taken this step that he did. We would have done anything to help him, given him money, a place to stay, loved him in every way we knew how.......he knew that. Why didn't he ask for help? He has always been such a proud and selfless person. He wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone with his problems. If you ever needed help, money, a shoulder to cry on......anything at all, Wayne would be there. He would do anything for anybody; family, friends, even strangers. He was so full of compassion. Why couldn't he just accept/ask for help in return?

How do you get through something like this? I know that knowing the Plan of Salvation and having a testimony of the Gospel is supposed to bring peace......so why is that not happening for me? I went to the temple with my younger sister on Sat morning. I thought I would feel closer to my brother, I thought I would find comfort and be able to feel the Spirit. It didn't happen. I've heard this my whole life, so where is the solace I'm seeking?

The pain is so intense I can't breathe. I feel like a rock is sitting on my chest and I'm suffocating. I can't eat. I have to take sleeping pills to sleep at night. I have constant anxiety, I'm so full of the "jitters" I can't sit still. I absolutely CANNOT stand to be alone.......at all. Whenever I'm alone this horrible gruesome movie reel starts to circle around in my head. I keep thinking of what his last moments must have been like. I keep seeing him do what he did to himself over and over and over. He didn't leave any kind of a note or explination. Was he so wrapped up in his pain that he didn't realize how much hurt he would be causing? Did he even think of any of us in the end?

He and his fiance had talked to each other about their final wishes if the unthinkable ever happened and he expressed his desire to be creamated. Our whole family is trying to respect this, but it's been a struggle. We wouldn't have been able to have an open casket anyway, but the thought of his body being "no more" is hard to digest. We went to the funeral home to go over the obituary, pick out an urn and make final decisions. The only way I could get through it was to mentally distance myself. I felt like we were planning all this for a complete stranger. This just can't be happening. All of the siblings are going to write a "tribute" to him about their favorite memory and my Aunt Shannon is going to read it at his funeral. I don't know how I can condense my brother, who was so full of life, into a few paragraphs.

It's not fair, but life doesn't stop just because we're hurting. Laundry still needs to be done, my house is a mess, I'm sure my family is getting tired of Mac n Cheese, I still have to worry about things like homework and breaking up kids fights. I'm taking the opportunity to love my boys and give them hugs every chance I get, but it's hard to actually go through the motions of taking care of them; I think I'm being an awful mother right now. It's all so overwhelming. The simplest of tasks seem monumental. I can't concentrate or focus on anything. My extended family has been sticking pretty close together and eating dinner with each other almost every night. On Sun I said I would feed everyone. Trying to make a simple taco dinner was almost more than I was capable of. I went to the store on Sat. night to get what I needed, but I didn't buy lettuce or tomatoes, I didn't have enough sour cream or salsa, I didn't have any chips or side dishes at all. It was a pretty pathetic attempt at an easy meal. A sweet friend brought over some homemade bread and it was such a life saver. There are several of us who are having a hard time eating much and that bread was so good and so easy on our stomachs that we devoured the whole loaf that night. Mike has been so great about trying to take care of us all, but he used up all of his paid leave last week and had to return to work yesterday. We also have the addition on the house that he has to work on, our deadline isn't going to change just because this has happened. I wish the world would just let us be.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE:

2010-04-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

The original plan:
-Refinance the house for a lower interest rate
-Get on a 15 year loan for only $30 a month more to our payments
-Save loads of money and live happily ever after

The glitch:
- As of 2010 financing has become much more selective
- NO ONE will finance our house with an unfinished addition on the side
- If we back out we loose the $500 we spent for an appraisel AND our low low pre-April-hike interest rate that we're locked into.
- The add-on garage with a master bedroom/bathroom/office up above it is only rough-framed in at this point.

Our Mission:
- Three weeks to finish both the inside and the outside. It has to be up to code and ready for occupation before we can get our financing
- Three weeks to do brick, siding, insullation, the garage door, plumbing, electrical, heating, painting (LOTS of painting), lighting, flooring, bathroom fixtures, drywall, cupboards, shelves, and doors.

We are STRESSED! Mike has taken off work this week and is using his paid vacation to work on the house from about 6:00am until 11:00pm. I can hardly get him inside to eat. He's not sleeping. He's so fixated on all these to-do lists running around in his brain that he wakes up at 3:00am and can't get back to bed. I'm trying to take care of the kids and keep the rest of the household responsibilities going single-handedly (how do sinlge mom's do it???) as well as help him out whenver I'm able. We're trying to hire some of the work out, but finances are limited (especially because it wasn't something we budgeted for) and he's probably going to be taking some upaid leave as well.

The end result:
- Have a wonderful addition to our home that will give us more room and FINALLY more than one working bathroom (hallejuah!) as well as a garage to park the vehicles
- Refinance, get our house paid off sooner, and save tons of money doing it
- Take a vacation.....I'm already planning a weekend away for the two of us when this is all done.
- Live Happily Ever After!

Busy Try Again Later

2010-04-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

Blog? Who has time to blog? Sigh, I wish life would slow down.

Just Foolin' Around

2010-04-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

I told the boys that tonight we were going to have CAKE for dinner. They were stoked. I was the coolest mom EVER!!!

APRIL FOOLS!

It's meatloaf "frosted" with mashed potatoes with dabs of ketchup and mustard. They thought it was hilarious.

I also made the boys eat their dinner with silly utensils.

I told them that since we had cake for dinner we were going to have grilled cheese sandwiches and peas for dessert. What? For real? Bummer!

It's taffy the I softned and rolled into "peas" and browned pound cake with colored frosting in the middle.

Too much fun!

Martha Steward Would Disapprove

2010-04-01T19:17:00.001-07:00

Ever notice how your routines evolve as your family grows? I used to be a pretty decent housekeeper. My house was always clean and company ready. I thought it would always look like that. I liked things clean and I figured that no matter what I would keep it that way even after I had kids. Sigh, I was so naive. Now, housework is a desperate struggle to keep things just decent enough that the Health Department doesn't come shut us down. Dinner dishes? Sometimes they're done right after dinner like they're supposed too, but sometime (gasp!) they sit in the sink until breakfast time and we all wake up to the house smelling faintly of tacos. I could easily sweep my floor 5 times a day (and now that Weston is mobile and putting everything in his mouth I usually do), wash my kitchen table 10 times a day, clean my sliding glass doors every hour.........and my house still wouldn't be clean all the time (who has time for that anyway?). The kiddos literally make messes faster than I can get to them. Usually I'm cleaning one room and they're off messing up another. And laundry? I swear I do enough loads for a small army. Here's how my laundry method has evolved.......

Just the two of us: Do laundry every week. Fold and put away one light load and one dark load. Done.

Add Child #1 : Do laundry every week. Fold and put away each load as it's finished. Done

Add Child #2: Okay, once a week isn't cutting it anymore. Do laundry twice a week. Fold and put away each load......except the last one which seems to always end up sitting in the dryer until I do laundry again. More than once I find myself dashing down the stairs in nothing but a towel to grab a bra.

Add Child #3: Do laundry all the time, but never quite finish.......clean laundry sits in baskets all over the house.......where are all the mates to these bag of socks?.......... Shoot! No clean uniform for school today, well this one is clean enough, just let me dab at that spot with a washcloth..........please, please, please boys, wear your pajamas more than one night before you put them in the hamper......hmmm, how long has it been since I've washed the bedding?

You get the idea.

The last couple of loads never ended up getting folded and put away. I'd put them on the bed in my room, out of sight, but they would sit there until night time and then get crammed inside of a laundry basket to get wrinkled beyond recognition. I've finally hit on something that works. If I put the loads of laundry in my front room I don't leave them there forever, they drive me crazy, anyone who comes to my house could get an eyeful of all our undies........so every load down to the last sock gets folded and put away. Martha Stewart would NOT approve......seven years ago I would have never dreamed of doing it this way.......

Laundry Day:

Sort

Wash

Dry

Put in a big ol' pile smack dab in the middle of my front room on the couch

Let it sit there all day, keep throwing more and more clean clothes on the pile

Hope no one comes over

Sit in the middle of the floor

Fortify myself with a bowl of ice cream

Fold Fold Fold

Call the children into the room one by one to put their own darn clothes away

Done!

So, if you ever show up at my house on laundry day try avert your eyes and disguise any horror you may feel at my disorganized methods. It works for me.

Baby Turns 1!

2010-03-26T08:20:00.000-07:00

So, I'm a week late. I know. Mommy guilt has already set in that I haven't done Weston's birthday post. Between his one-year Dr.'s appt, 3 church related meetings, shampooing our carpets, a parent teacher conference, volunteering in Caeden's classroom, and cleaning for my mom 3 days this week, I just haven't had the time to blog. We didn't forget Buppy's birthday though. We had a big family party last Sunday.

He LOVED his birthday cupcakes......

and ice cream.......

his first brain freeze...... of course the package is always more fun than the actual present.........
and an amazing talented friend took some wonderful 1 year pics of him for me........

how adorable is this?

We've enjoyed having Weston in our family so much. It's been fun to watch because his brothers are both older so they really get into helping out with him. They love to play with him.

Caeden carries him everywhere , doesn't this look uncomfortable? For some reason he loves it ......

and Tanner loves to dress him up.....

He says the typical "mamamama" and "dadadada". He's probably my first baby who prefers his daddy to me. He gets so excited when Mike is home and he automatically reaches out to be in his daddy's arms......

Some of his favorite things to do right now are:

Play the piano.......

Empty out my kitchen cabinets (ever notice how something that starts out cute can turn annoying real quick? Time to break out the child-locks)..........

teasing the kitty.......usually the kitty is on the other side of the glass wanting to get in the house and Weston sits there and giggles at her......

I'm so happy to have this precious little guy in our family. We all love him to pieces. I can't believe he's 1 already. It's so bittersweet. I love to watch his sweet personality develop, but he's growing up so fast. Happy Birthday Baby Weston!

St. Paddy's Day

2010-03-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Holidays have always been fun, but it wasn't until I had kids that I realized how fun they could really be. St. Patrick's Day has never been a holiday I really celebrated other than putting on some token green somewhere. Now? It's a day-long green fest that's fun, fun, FUN! The boys get so excited over every little thing.....it's great!

Start with some green pancakes for breakfast.......

A green lunch all ready to be sent for school. PB&J on a green roll, sugar snap peas, a pear, a box of apple juice, and some green jello........

Caeden wears a uniform to school so if he wants to wear green we have to get creative. Green "lucky" socks for all the boys and a flashing shamrock button for the older two.......

A delicious Irish dinner of corned beef with carrots, cabbage, potatoes, and green rolls.......

And finish off our day with some green shamrock sugar cookies......

Can you OD on green food coloring?

Spring!

2010-03-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

This makes me smile every time I walk out of my house.......

WANTED:

2010-03-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

A mother for an energetic 4-year-old.

Job Requirements:

Must have the patience of a saint.

Must have inexhaustable energy and nerves of steel.

Must have a knowledge of all forms of first aid, emergency surgery and veterinary sciences.

Must not care if all wordly posessions are destroyed.

Must be willing to forgive 10,000 times daily

Familiarity with all emergency numbers preferred, such as:

911, poison control, Utah Natural Disaster Cleanup, mental hospital, and local firestations.

A thorough knowlege of how to remove "permanent" stains required.

Past or current SWAT team members,

or any other specially trained forces

will be given preferrance.

Must be willing to work for no pay, little appreciation, and be contracted
for at least 14 more years

Guaranteed spot in the Celestial Kingdom for raising him to adulthood

without inflicting bodily harm.

Anyone needing sleep, peace, quiet or calm need not apply.

HURRY!!!

This job offer won't last!

(Because the child will be GONE!)

4 Going on 14

2010-03-08T07:43:00.001-08:00

Don't you ever wish that you could strike fear in the heart of your child? I know that's not a very Christ-like mothering sentiment, BUT.......

Here's the conversation at breakfast this morning......

Tanner: Mom, I'm hungry
Me: Want oatmeal?
Tanner: Yes, but make it fast Stupid.

Excuse me???!!!

(and, no, he didn't get away with talking to me like that, I didn't get his oatmeal and he had to go to his room, but it is Tanner and he loves to push buttons so I'm sure that's not the last time I will be referred to as Stupid....grrrr)

We've noticed a lot of attitude from Caeden lately as well. Depending on the severity of the offense we send them to their rooms, take away privileges, or ground them, but I'm not sure if we're making any progress. I really don't see us as "doormat" parents, but this is becoming a real issue in our house. Any non-illegal suggestions for dealing with disrespect and backtalk?

Florida Part II

2010-02-25T15:11:00.000-08:00

Our trip was flying by so fast! The next day we went to pick up Regina from the airport. She's from the Washington DC area and joined our little group about a year ago. Chris at the docks.....

Char took all of us to a wonderful little place called St. Augustine.
They have the oldest standing fort in the country. The did a re-inactment of firing a cannon.....what is it about the South and re-inactments?

The oldest school house........

And the oldest monestary. It was so pretty and peaceful, I could have spent hours here......

This Huguenot cemetary was in the middle of town and I was fascinated by it because I recently just read a book about their sad history.

St. Augstine used to have pirates plundering their coasts and so it's a big pirate town. Tanner would have LOVED it!!!

I love the architecture down here.......

When we got home that night one of Char's friends suprised us with a banner to show support......

Finally, the day of the race was here. This was the best distance race I have ever ran. It was so inspirational. There were between 3,000-4,000 runners and even more spectators. People would line the streets dressed up in all sorts of crazy costumes and yell, clap, and ring cow bells to show their support. There were several live bands along the way. There was so much energy. It was amazing! Breast cancer survivors as well as people who were currently being treated were running with us. You quickly forget your fatigue and pain when the woman running next to you doesn't have any hair. These were walls of dedication where you could put the name of person you were running on behalf of.

The entrance to the starting line......

All of us right before the race. I dont' know what is up with my weird smile.....

We saw several men running in pink skirts, it was hilarious.....

I expected it to all be flat, but there were several "hills" in the form of bridges along the way. It was a tough course.

A 1 mile run on the beach, it was scenic, but very hard to run on.......

My final finish time was 2:12. Much better than I expected! I had planned on 2:30 because my previous PR was 2:16 and that was an all downhill course. I think it was a result of training in altitude, but racing at sea-level. I had so much energy and I felt great through the whole thing! In my age group I came in #72 out of 293.

That night we had a little chili party back at the house. Char had made 6 different kinds and we all stuffed ourselves.

Time for everyone to fly out. One last picture together.......

This was such a great experience. Florida was beautiful, the race was awesome, and the friends were the best part. I was sad to leave, but I missed my sweet boys and Mike.

I found this sitting on the kitchen table for me when I walked in the door.

It was good to be home.

Florida Part I

2010-02-24T12:49:00.000-08:00

So I just got back from my fabulous trip to Florida a couple of days ago and I'm a little overwhelmed with the amount of pics and stories I want to post......so I'm going to do it in parts. I guess I need to first explain they whys and hows of ending up on the other side of the USA.

About 3 years ago I was thinking about running my first marathon. I had done some little 5K races, but I really didn't know anything about running and I knew there was a big potential for injuring yourself with distance races. So...after some browsing around on the internet I stumbled across an online running forum. I started posting and met some of the coolest people ever!!! These great friends have got me through 2 marathons and 2 half marathons. They've been a source of knowledge, support, and friendship. We've talked for 3 years now and our subjects have ranged far and wide from just running. It was so weird to know these people so well, yet I hadn't ever actually met any of them. Most of them live on the east coast and have met up for several races before. One of the most driven amazing women I know, Charlotte, started floating the idea around about meeting up at her place in Florida and running the half marathon race at the 26.2 With Donna National Breast Cancer Marathon in February.

My wonderful, fabulous, generous, supportive, hubby decided to send me out to race with my friends for my birthday this year. So, on Feb 18th I boarded a plane and headed to the South. I've never been farther east than the Dakotas so I was very excited for this trip. I'm not scared of flying, but I was nervous about having a layover and getting sick. The layover went smoothly, but I was throwing up in the little puke bag during the second flight......not fun.

Charlotte picked me up from the Jacksonville airport and we headed to her house. She lives in this beautiful rural area that is surrounded by citrus trees, oaks draped in Spanish moss and the St. Johns river. Every morning we walked her dogs down these beautiful country lanes. It was wonderful!

I tease Char all the time that I want to be her when I grow up. She turns 50 this year and she's the fastest female runner on our group. She's also a wonderful cook, she only uses very healthy whole foods and makes mostly vegetarian meals, but everything was still so flavorful and tasty. We brought handfuls of her recipes home with us. Her husband, Clark, was such a great sport about having his house invaded by all these strange women. I think it's cause he got a kick out of scaring us with stories of the alligators and the poisonous black moccasin snakes that lived in the water.

The second day out we went and picked up Christina (from Michigan) at the airport. Yeah! I get to meet another one of my friends. Chris is AMAZING!!! This teenie tiny woman has lost a total of 103 lbs. from diet and exercise and was featured in Womens World magazing. She's such an inspiration!

The three of us went to the race expo to pick up our packets and walked around downtown Jacksonville and the beach. We stopped for lunch and I had sushi for the first time in my life. It was good, but I could have passed on the Seaweed salad that Char talked me into.....she didn't mention that it was Seaweed & JELLYFISH salad.....slimy and not very yummy.

Me at the Atlantic Ocean for the first time.
The Birds! The Birds!
Chris started feeding the seagulls and they came at us in swarms.

We also saw a fisherman reel in a stingray and had to go snap pictures.Char was laughing at how Christina and I acted at the beach......we land-locked women were like little kids.

It was so nice to see green things and blooming flowers in February!

Random Valentine's Pictures

2010-02-15T20:34:00.000-08:00

You know how some people post crafts on their blog and you're just amazed at their talent and creativity? Um, I'm not one of those. But I do occasionally like to do the crafty project anyway. It's fun and relaxing. I enjoy being surrounded by things that I made. It makes me happy! This was my Valentine's project for this year......

And my wonderfully talented step-mom (who IS one of those crafty people I'm jealous of) made me this super-cute heart garland for my birthday! LOVE it! I found this cute idea here and we kicked our healthy eating habits to the curb for a few days and made these fun little Rice Krispie "ice cream" cones for the Scouts and our school car-pool crew.....
Also Mike's work requested I send in some of my cream-filled cupcakes. His co-workers request them again and again. In the disclosure of being honest I forgot to take a picture before they were all eaten so I lifted this one from Photobucket. Mine were lots cuter, with pink filling, piped decortive chocolate frosting, and valentine's sprinkles!

Creamy Center Cupcakes

1 pkg chocolate cake mix

3/4 c. shortening

2/3 c. confectioners sugar

1 c. marshmallow creme

1 tsp. vanilla extract

2 cans chocolate frosting

(I usually just make homemade)

Prepare and bake cake according to package directions in cupcakes, using paperlined muffin cups. Cool completely.

Meanwhile, in a mixing bowl, cream shortening and sugar. Add marshmallow creme and vanilla (I sometimes add food coloring for a holiday at this point); mix well. Instert a small pastry tip into a pastry bag; fill with cream filling. Insert tip halfway into the center of each cupcake and pipe cream into the cupcake. Frost with chocolate frosting.

For Valentine's morning we had a special breakfast with Overnight Orange Pecan French Toast, hashbrowns, eggs with cheese and ham, fresh fruit and orange juice. The french toast were a huge hit, I got the recipe here at Allrecipes.com.

PECAN FRENCH TOAST
Ingredients
4 eggs
2/3 cup orange juice
1/3 cup milk
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 (1 pound) loaf Italian bread, cut into 1 inch slices
1/3 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup chopped pecans
2 tablespoons grated orange zest
Directions
In a large bowl, beat together eggs, orange juice, milk, sugar, nutmeg and vanilla extract. Place bread slices in a tightly spaced single layer in the bottom of a flat dish or baking pan. Pour milk mixture over bread, cover and refrigerate overnight, turning once.
When ready to cook, preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Coat a jelly roll pan, or rimmed baking sheet, evenly with the melted butter. Arrange soaked bread slices in a single layer on pan. Sprinkle evenly with orange peel and pecans.
Bake in preheated oven until golden, 20 to 25 minutes. Check slices during last 10 minutes of baking time to avoid burning.

Adding to all this yumminess Mike got me some TO DIE for homemade toffee from a co-worker who was selling it. Yeah, this week is showing around my waist, but it's been fun!

And this is what I got for Mike......

And the best for last, my sweet little Valentine's boys......

Aren't these guys handsome?

Valentines....the Boy way!

2010-02-10T19:02:00.000-08:00

Tonight we were getting all the stuff ready for the boys' class Valentines parties tomorrow. I had the boys do a hand-made card to give to their teachers with a little baggie of special treats.

These would look tons better if I scanned them, but my scanner is a pain so I just took pictures.

Here's Tanner's card:

"What are the purple spots?"

"Poop."

"What?"

"I made lots of big purple poops for my teacher."

Ooookkaaaay........

Hmmm, should I have made him re-do it? Eh, I figured she'll be too busy to ask him what they are anyway!

Here's Caeden's card:

"Nice picture, what did you draw?"

"It's a monster fighting an alien that has ten heads. See? The monster is going to cut off all the aliens heads and blood is going to be everywhere.

What ever happened to cupid, teddy bears, hearts and flowers?

New Year's Resolutions......a month late!

2010-02-08T08:00:00.001-08:00

I never posted about it, but I did set some New Year's resolutions this year. New Year's resolutions can be tricky. There have been times that I've felt like NY's is a time to examine all your faults, pick the worst ones, and build your goals around that. The process of doing this? .....not so good on the ol' self esteem.

One of my friends posted a great idea about resolutions here and the follow up here. I love the idea because it seems to focus more on the positive and less on the negative.

I mulled it over for quite a while and decided that the world I would love to emulate my year in 2010 is .....

GROWTH

I feel like I've been stuck in a rut for too long. It's time to embrace Growth. I'm comfortable where I'm at, but being in a comfort zone isn't the way to learn and challenge yourself. I want to Grow together as a family. I want Mike and I to Grow closer together as a couple. I want to Grow spiritually. I want to Grow in the knowledge of how to better take care of myself nutritionally and physically.

So, now, 1 month into the New Year, how have I been doing?

I heard through the grapevine that a girl who had moved into our neighborhood was looking for someone to do monthly babysitting swaps with so that she could attend the temple more. I talked to her and we've arranged it so that we can each go to the temple once a month. In the past I usually wait for a time when Mike and I to be able to go together, but he's so busy and his work schedule is so crazy that we don't end up going very often. I'm uncomfortable going by myself, but I know one of the surest ways to Grow spiritually is to attend the temple. I'm excited about this. I went last month and I get to go again tomorrow. The great thing about regular temple attendance is it seems to have a domino effect in your life. You attend the temple more and it makes you want to study your scriptures more, which makes you want to teach your children about the scriptures more, which improves your family home evening.......etc. It really does bring blessings without number.

My sister and I are also doing babysitting exchanges so that we can go on monthly dates with our husbands. It's working out great so far! This last weekend Mike and I went to Crystal Hot Springs and spent the day chasing each other down a waterslide and sitting in hot mineral pools. Spending some one-on-one time together helps us in so many ways. We're more patient with each other, we start teasing and flirting with one another more, we talk more....we really Grow closer together as a couple.

We've also been trying to spend more time Growing together as a family. It's so easy for everyone to get caught up in our own interests and not BE together. Mike working on the add-on to our home, me on the computer or lost in a book, Caeden watching TV, Tanner off making a mess (serioulsy, that's what he does with his free time), Weston, being the sweet mellow little guy he is, just content to sit there by himself and suck on something. We've been trying to spend more quality time with each other. We're letting the kids earn family activity days when they get marks for doing their chores, right now they're working towards 10 pts. for an ice cream trip, 20 pts. for a Happy Meal lunch, or 30 pts. to go to Chucky Cheese. I've been trying to play with the boys more and really show an interest in what they love.......even if I have to fake it (Pokemon!). I'm trying to be with them even when I'm doing everyday stuff, like having them help me with cooking or picking a family movie that we can all watch together. Even though there are days that feel like the boys will never grow-up I know that it's really all so fleeting. I want to enjoy them more. I want to cherish every stage they go through and not focus solely on the challenges that come with that stage.

For the last little while I've been trying to educate myself more about nutrition. I think our family eats too much sugar and unnecessary additives. The thought of going completely over to whole foods is overwhelming to me....so I haven't done it, back to my comfort zone. I'm wanting to embrace Growth in my awareness of my and my family's health. So, I've just been making little changes in our diet and so far we're all doing great with it. I'm cooking from scratch a lot more so that we can enjoy the same foods, such as breads, hot cereals, even goodies, without all the extra garbage that comes with store bought foods (no, I don't bake ALL of our bread homemade, but every little bit helps). We've cut a lot of sugar and almost all high fructose corn syrup from our diets by limiting our treat night to a homemade treat on Monday night at Family Home Evening. During the week we've been eating mostly whole foods, tons of produce, grains, lean meats and we usually do vegetarian meals at least 3 times a week. I don't want my boys to grow up feeling deprived or feeling like processed foods are forbidden so we ease up quite a bit on the weekends. They can pick whatever cereal they want on Sunday or we may order a pizza on a weekend night. So far we're doing great, the boys have been eating most of what I make without complaint and not only have I lost 5 lbs, but I can't believe how much more energy I have these days. I don't feel that afternoon lag that I used too. I've also noticed the less sugar I eat the less I crave it......who knew that change would make it easier to eat healthy and not harder like I always thought?

We're not doing perfect in all areas, there are still times I ignore my children more than I should, I still don't read my scriptures often enough, I occasionally still have a chocolate binge, but I'm doing better, my family is doing better......so far, we're GROWING!

GD

2010-02-01T10:18:00.000-08:00

I was up until 1:00am last night.......very late for me. Sometimes when I get to thinking about something I can't shut my brain off. My thoughts just go around in circles; I get more and more agitated and sleep gets more and more elusive. It all started innocently enough. I was watching a PBS Masterpiece Classics version of Jane Austen's "Emma". LOVE Jane!!! Mike was with me working on organizing some scout projects and interjecting dorky comments about how silly and girlie the movie was. We tease each other a lot so I just laughed along with him and occasionally punched him in the arm. After it was over we headed up to bed and then one stupid little thought occured to me that opened up a floodgate of emotions. Mike likes action movies.....bring on the army shows, comic book fantasies......pretty much anything loaded with violence, boy humor, and testosterone. My boys seem to be following in his footsteps. Sooooo......who will ever want to watch Jane Austen with me? I watch/read all kinds of stuff, but I love a good romantic comedy. Am I destined to spend forever having everything I watch annoy all the other inhabitants in the house?

I'm having a hard time putting my feelings into words because one of the trials in my life is not something that very many people understand. Not only that, but I've heard some very judgmental and hurtful comments.

I want a little girl.

I want a little girl so bad it hurts.

I LOVE my boys......more than anything. I wouldn't trade one of my precious boys for 100 girls. But I feel incomplete without another female in the house. When I was pregnant with Tanner and found out he was a boy I shed a couple of tears, I was hoping for a little girl, but I quickly got over it. I was excited that Caeden would have a brother and I hoped that they would be close. When I was pregnant with Weston I just assumed that my time for a girl had come. Mike didn't want anymore children and I had always knew that I would one day have a little girl......almost everyone does, it never occured to me that I wouldn't. Same-sex families are actually pretty rare ....especially ones that have more than 2 children.

I've always wanted a daugher. I kept a journal in high school and in more than one entry I express my desire to make good choices so that my future-daughter would be proud of me. It sounds silly to put it into writing, but for some reason I always had this idea that she was watching me grow up and I didn't want to dissapoint her.

We went to the ultra-sound and found out we were expecting another boy. A fterward I couldn't even drive home because I was bawling so hard. For the first time it occured to me that I may never have any of those experiences that are unique to having a girl. I literally cried for days. It wasn't that I didn't want my baby. I would have been utterly devastated if anything had happened to him.....it was more that I needed to grieve for all the things that I will never experience. Things that parents who have both genders never think twice about. Part of me feels like I will always be a bit of an outsider in my own home. I will always be the different one. I will never get to put on a long white lacey baby blessing gown. I will never get to do braids, hair bows, jewelry, cute girl clothes. I will never get to play "house" with dolls, barbies, or Princess dress-ups. I will never go to a dance recital. I will never get to answer my daughters questions about being a woman. I will never get to see her being picked up for a date. I will never get to do mother/daughter dates like getting our hair done, or shopping, or going to that cheesy chick-flick. I will never be the mother of the bride or help pick out a wedding dress. I will never get to share the experience of pregnancy and the wonder/fear of being a new mommy with my daughter.

Yes, I will hopefully someday have daughters-in-law, but that's not the same. Boys grow up and leave......really leave. They don't call mom if they're having a bad day, or feeling lonely, or need advice. I have these horrible (overly dramatic, I'm sure) dreams of Mike and I being all alone for the holidays. From my own family experience the boys families seem to take a definate second-place in their future relationships. My brothers live an hour away. We see them maybe 2 times a year. They are with their wives/girlfriends families for everything. At weddings the grooms family is a distant thought.... just another set of guest. When a grandbaby comes the new father's family is nowhere near as involved as the mom's. I not only grieve for what I will miss out on, but also for Mike. I hear about how little girls have their daddy's wrapped around their finger and I want that for him. I'm a daddy's girl myself. I love my dad, I want a little girl who will feel that same hero-worship for Mike. I'm very careful about voicing anything around the boys, I would be so upset if they misunderstood and felt less wanted. There have been several times Caeden and Tanner have asked me why they don't have sister. I've just told them that Heavenly Father hasn't sent one to our family. A couple of times I've even had to leave the room because Caeden really wants a sister and can get quite pushy about asking for one. I wish the choice was in my hands.

In desperation for some common understanding I went searching the internet for any validation to what I was experincing. I found that there is actually a name for what I have. GD - Gender Dissapointment. I even found an online group that was made up of women who all have GD. Finding some people to talk to who understood....truly understood what I was feeling was my saving grace throughout my pregnancy. One of these women posted something that perfectly describes how I feel. She said she didn't like the term "Gender Dissapointment" because it implies that the wonderful children you have are somehow a dissapointment to you because of their sex. For most of us that couldn't be more untrue. She said for her GD stood for Gender Desire......because her desire for a girl would never go away. That's what I have....Gender Desire. I know having a girl isn't all tea-parties and well behaved girlies in frilly dresses. I have nieces who are every bit as wild and loud as my boys. BUT there is a difference between the sexes and I would like to have experiences with both.....who knows, I would maybe have these same feelings if I had 3 girls and no little man in my life.

These are not feelings that are acceptable to talk about. If you express a desire for a girl people assume that you aren't filled with gratitude for the wonderful children in your life. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I know I'm lucky to have children. I have several friends and family members who either can't have children or the process of conception, pregnancy, and labor is a massive struggle. I know that I'm fortunate to get pregnant easily and have healthy babies. That doesn't mean that my feelings aren't valid. I read an essay about GD that explained it perfectly. The author, who had GD, stated that you would never be so insensitive as to tell a person who couldn't have children "well, at least you don't have a terminal illness", likewise it's ridiculous that our feelings are unnacceptable and we're told "at least you can have children". I know I'm blessed. A day doesn't go by that I'm not on my knees at some point thanking my Father in Heaven for my beautiful little boys. They are my reason for being. They are my world. I think more people have GD than we realize....it's just not talked about. I was in church about a month after I found out the gender of my 3rd boy. My neighbor across the street has four grown sons. We've talked quite a bit and she has always seemed a bit of a tomboy and content with her all-boy family. She came up to me in the hallway and said that she'd heard I was having another boy. She asked me how I was taking the news. I didn't know what to say and after a moment of hesitation this sweet lady enfolded me in a hug and simply said "It's okay, I understand." We've since talked about it a few times and you know what? She has GD too.....it's just not something she talks about because very few people respond with compassion. Either they feel the need to tell you that you need to be grateful for the children you have (duh) or they feel the need to "help" by telling you all the reasons you don't actually want a girl (of course these comments always come from parents who have both sexes). Like my neighbor, with the exception of a couple close friends, I rarely talk about my feelings to others anymore. I can't help the way I feel no matter how "unacceptable" some people may think it is.

I sometimes think that the Lord must really have a sense of humor making me an all-boy mom. I've always been quite feminine. I don't do sports.....I don't play them, I don't watch them, I have zero interest. I can easily do make-believe play with dolls or barbies, but I'm at a loss when it comes to Pokemon, superheroes, or rough-housing. I sometimes feel like I don't know how to interact with my boys in all their "boyishness". I'm trying to find acceptance and be the best boy-mom I can be. I bought a fishing liscense this year and I took the boys out several times to try and fish. I went to semi-crowded community ponds and got several comments from crusty old fishermen and their sons/grandsons for being a mom out there fishing with my boys. I didn't fit in.....there was one time I even felt distinctly unwelcome. I was a woman ina Man's World. If I can't be in a Man's World and I don't have any daughters to take into MY world......then where does that leave me? As boys grow up I think they distance themselves more and more from their moms. We want to talk about feelings, we want to hug........things that are no longer acceptable to a boy striving to be a man. How will I survive when my boys leave? Girls seem to still come back home and need their parents, even after they're married. Boys? Not so much.

Mike is content only having boys. When I first found out that my hopes for a girl were possibly dashed he tried to console me by saying that maybe......maybe......we weren't done afterall. I think the force of my depression scared him and he wanted to do/say anything to help make it better. Now, when the subject of possibly having another child comes up he is adamently against it, not only because he's happy with our family of 3, but he worries about me going through months of grief again if my hopes for a girl are crushed again. I want another child....even if I end up with 4 boys, I want to carry and love one more baby. I honestly think that I'm resigned to possibly never having a girl and therefore even if we did have another boy it wouldn't be as hard as this last time. I'm so used to boys now that I even wonder if I could handle a girl. We have a sweet little neighbor girl who sometime comes over to play at our house. When her feelings get hurt, which seems to happen often, she cries a river. I don't know what to do. When one of my boys hurts his brothers feelings they usually just punch each other. Tears are foreign to me unless there's blood invovled.

I no longer post to my online GD board. I didn't need them after Weston was born. Having a sweet new baby to love seemed to consume all of me and I didn't have the energy/emotions left for anything else. I have found some peace with being an all-boy mom. When I was pregnant I couldn't shop for little girls, I couldn't attend little girl birthday parties.....I was so relieved that my baby was born and I missed Easter Sunday in church.....all the little girls in their dresses would have been hard for me ( I like to think that pregnancy hormones factored into how emotional I was). My sister and I took my mom to the Nutcracker when I was about 6 months along. I came home and cried for 2 hours after. My sister, who would never intentionally cause me pain, kept saying how she couldn't wait until her daughter was old enough to take to the ballet....the whole auditorium was full of moms and grandmas taking their little girls to see the classic little girl Christmas fairy story. It was so hard on me. Disney Princesses on Ice was much the same atmosphere, but I've come a long way and even though it brought some feelings up, other than a little lump in my throat I was fine. I don't think about it all the time like I used to, the things that bring my feelings to head are usually dumb. Like the movie last night, or seeing a super-cute little girl all dolled up sitting on her daddy's lap in church, seeing my sister-in-law and her teenage daughter going to get their hair done together. Heaven forbid our ward ever have a Mother/Daughter date night.

My mom thinks the intensity of my feelings means that there is a little girl up in heaven waiting to join our family. I'm not so sure. Longing for something doesn't always mean that it's meant to be. Sometimes I think this may just be one of the trials I'm going to have to deal with in this life. It's gotten better over the past year and I think that with time the ache will become less and less. For now, I'll just enjoy doing the girlie things in my life with moms/sisters/friends/nieces. I won't 100% give up hope for a few more years yet.

Moving on Up!

2010-01-28T16:51:00.000-08:00

Tanner tries my patience. Tanner really tries my patience. He's very messy, very destructive and it seems he's doing something naughty about 95% of the time. Tonight I had just had it with him! He'd dumped out all the toys in the basement, flooded the bathroom, got muddy in the backyard then brought it in on my carpet, got into my storage room and repeatedly dipped his dirty fingers in my sugar bin, stole marshmallows out of the pantry, ripped all the bedding off my bed.....it goes on and on....with him it always does. Finally worn down by frustration I yelled at him tonight "If you don't straighten up and start following the rules in this house you can go and find somewhere else to live." Real mature of me. He's four.

As soon as those words had left my mouth I was hit with guilt. What if he doesn't think his mother wants him? What if he doesn't realize that I love him to pieces no matter what he does? He's going to need years of therapy to heal the hurt of rejection that I just flung at him in a moment of anger. He was so quiet. I went to go give him a hug and have a heart-to-heart talk about how mommy didn't mean it, I shouldn't have said it, I could never give-up my special boy. Right before I got to his side he looks up and says "Can I go live at Michael's house? Or maybe with Johnny.....he has dogs. Or I can go live with Calvin because he has video games."

Oh.

He wasn't silent because he was crushed......he just needed a minute to think through how excited he was to get a new mom.....there were so many great options to chose from. I guess I deserved that.

Something to Think About

2010-01-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

I've read this poem before, but I saw it hanging up in the doctor's office yesterday and it really touched me. This is the perfect Instruction Manual for how I should strive to parent these three beautiful boys that Heavenly Father has entrusted to my care.

I would like to also add.....

If children live with the Gospel in their home, they learn about Godliness

If children live with a family who protects and teaches, they learn about Eternity

If children live with knowledge of who they are, they learn about the wonder of His plan

If children live with a testimony of the Book of Mormon, they learn about being missionaries.

If children live with obedience to the commandments, they learn about blessings

If children live in a home where love surrounds them, they learn the awe inspiring power of His neverending love for all.